Be single without objectivating, today looking for love and managing the aftersex, the fourth episode of Butterflies in the stomach

First to find someone, there were bars, parks, discos or such things, today there are social media, dating apps and dating cultures. This implies a large exposure to a large amount of desirable or potential partners. One could speak of a paradox of the choice, where having too many options can become more difficult to find someone. There is also a fatigue dating, or the feeling of overwhelming observed when doing in a very quantitative way to find someone. Or the Tinder Blues, That is, that sense of sadness, frustration or dissatisfaction that some people feel after using dating app. That between the repetition of superficial conversations, the ghost, the difficulty to create authentic connections or the impression to be only an option among many of many, sadness, a feeling of emptiness and frustration.

So the focus is lost, you are looking for someone, but forget to identify “what” we are looking for that someone. Objectively you don’t understand a cock. It is important to ask, it also leaves behind A nice space for the astonishment that the other person can give us, without intellectualizing too much, note reading or sending to spread after half a mistake.

In all this uncertainty it is very normal to be afraid of a relationship, just think about how much effort you can make to find it, to conquer yourself after all the problems and with the traumetti of ghosting and beautiful company. But love must be lived, even a love that ends, otherwise we will close growth, experience and exposure to something that we are looking for and in which we want to be.

Those who search, but also look at the structures that form the research, However, try not to make them a black cloud that darkens the concept of need or research of love. My therapist One day, when I was looking for love, I told me very easily: “Search for it, just don’t put aside“And I very much agree.

How to manage the aftersex?

Aftersex, or the moment immediately after the end of a sexual act, a special. Indeed, maybe it’s always. The brain during sex make a series of junk, activate areas, deactivates others, the beautiful and paraspatic system dance, neurotransmission too. Sex lets many things happen. If it ends, there is a kind of rebound, also and especially emotional: we can feel tied up, need a cigarette, which should shake Instagram ten minutes before they return in contact with reality, or to be embraced, sleeping, who knows. But it must be known. It is part of sex, so that observing what happens to us is useful to experience that timetable safely. For some people the question is very quiet, less for others. We can make two examples: Sex blues one Post Noot Clarity.