When I picked her up yesterday she was very happy and got dressed happily and shouted goodbye daddy, now we are going to mommy’s house by bus. So it felt very nice and we have not noticed any immediate sadness in her. That it is different and a few questions, yes, but nothing else. She follows us and is happy with us on both sides. And that’s fun. To feel a different energy and presence with her when there are breaks in between. In doing so, she somehow gets more out of both when the time is right.
But then she fell asleep on the way and I let her sleep, thinking we would take a slightly later Friday. Bought coffee and walked around a bit, even met my friend Emelie, who turned out to be in Täby c when I called. It feels a bit like you went into readiness for several days with just the responsibility and it felt good to start gently.
Anyway, Gunnel woke up after a while and when we got home she was very sad. Crying and wouldn’t get out of the cart. Crying that she didn’t want to be here. And not those kind of toddler tantrums, but this felt like something more based on sadness. That this house isn’t hers. And especially after being in the house for a number of days in a row.
The first reaction in me was so heartbreaking when I realized that I had created this situation for her. It touched me how big this adjustment is for her. After a soft start, reality caught up with her. But I crouched down, spoke calmly, and let her sit where she felt safe. Let her observe and take my time before I finally carry her inside and sit on her lap. She lay down on the floor and just stayed there for a few minutes, but then things changed and she rolled under the couch and started playing peek-a-boo. As if she came out of grief. We looked at her toys and some TV she likes. And the evening went well.
It’s a bit new to relax in a different place in the evening, but at the same time I feel a sense of security that we will have a good time. That this is correct. And that I get to hold her and hold her all the way. Accompany with warmth and show that she is safe here too.
I started writing this when she was sleeping but then I heard her wake up and say “Mama mama we are in the mama house” and happily I say yes we are. “Mom, it’s nice with the library and the Täby center,” yes, I say. And then it feels like everything will be fine. That everything just takes time to land.
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div>(You can suggest your favorite activities to an almost three year old. She usually runs around the library and basically everywhere, but if you have something to share, it’s happily accepted. I’m also trying to teach her to be bored and find her own games in that void, but I also think it’s so hard to turn down when she wants to do things together. There’s nothing more fun than when she’s playing and doing her thing, the little few moments that happen now.)
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