While I have some qualms about how the era of NHL on ESPN/TNT has gone in recent years (no marketing about Frozen Frenzy, playoff games are at 2 or 10 p.m., ESPN openly says hockey isn’t a sport while freaking out when an NBA player in charge of ‘load management’ farts in their direction. But a big positive is their NHL on TNT talk show with Paul Bissonnette, Wayne Gretzy, Henry Lundqvist, Mark Messier and more hockey fans. The dynamic between Biz as an absolute degenerate, Gretzy as the greatest gentleman hockey could ever wish for, and the great analysis of HOFers like Lundqvist, Chris Chelios and Mark Messier is simply porn for the hockey soul.
But there is oooooooo one part of that show that just sticks out like a thorn. Like a nun at a motorcycle rally. Like a polar bear in the desert. Like the Toronto Maple Leafs in the third round of the playoffs or later.
That thorn is Anson Carter. If you don’t watch the NHL on TNT, don’t worry, I can annoy you with this absolute sucker with just a few clips.
Seems completely normal, right? NHL players are regularly given their own nicknames. Nathan Mackinnon is Nate Dogg, Sydney Crosby is Sid The Kid, Wayne Gretzky is “The Great One” (still the GOAT of athlete nicknames in my humble opinion), Ovechkin is The Great 8. But these are all nicknames given to these guys. Earned by scoring 50 goals a year, winning cups, going through the hockey record books, etc. It’s a little different if you give it to yourself and force it on everyone ANSON HORACE CARTER.
Now these guys are on TV, so Biz and the gang just let it all happen. Horace isn’t a hockey hall of famer, he may not be the biggest media personality in hockey like Biz, let him have something, right?
Well, after last night, I’m all about that approach. After the Lightning vs Stars game last night, Jon Cooper decided to have some fun with the NHL on TNT gang and ask the questions himself for once instead of the other way around as has been the case for him for over a decade. And let’s just say when it got to old Horace, things got real awkward.
If this “put your lights out” response came from Biz, I wouldn’t even doubt it was a bit. But coming from Ace and from the way it sounded, this is clearly a mental midget who gets awkwardly aggressive and plays it off as if he is because someone jokingly called him out on something we all know. To make matters worse, Jon Cooper is perhaps the most beloved, respected coach in all of hockey that you could imagine.
You could watch NHL on TNT once, watch hockey for the first time, and you’d know that this loser gave himself that nickname. No one else tries to use it, he says it to start EVERY conversation, etc. You can just tell it backstage while the other guys are talking about real hockey stuff or whatever ridiculous situation Biz had last night, he follows them around like a leech and says “Hey guys, seriously, uhhh, can you guys start calling me Ace, it’s super cool, everyone loves it”.
I’ll just say what the NHL on TNT guys will never say: fuck you Horace, you damn -12 on your career dumbass who can’t take a joke, mental midget. Get Horace from NHL on TNT and put on Heatdaddy, or someone at least mildly entertaining.
#dorks #nerds #Anson #Horace #Carter #NHL #TNT