Hans Christian Andersen published ‘Fairytales for Children’ in 1837. The third of three stories in the collection was ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’. In my opinion, this is the best story ever told [Wikipedia [careful, it’s not properly moderated] says it is almost certainly a pleasant update of an older Indian story that Andersen had reached via Spain].
Like all the best stories, it’s about many things.
The main theme is to satirize people’s willingness to fool themselves and others for fear of being seen as stupid or uncivilized, and how it only takes one person who isn’t invested in the bullshit to bring everything down by pointing out the truth.
The reason it’s such a great story is that it remains an accurate mickey-take to this day and will likely remain so as long as the human race exists. [i.e. ten years or so]. It can be applied to many social situations and areas of human endeavor.
In summary, when you see someone pretending to like or understand something because they’re afraid someone will think they’re crazy or uneducated if they don’t, it’s an “emperor’s new clothes” situation. [post-‘The Bends’ Radiohead, most of David Lynch’s work, and so forth. Add your own examples in the comments].
In 2005, American philosophy professor Harry G. Frankfurt wrote an essay entitled ‘On Nonsense’ [it’s not called that, but the actual title is a bit rude. You’ll have to look it up. Read it. It’s great]. He tells us about the increasing spread of nonsense, especially in politics.
What does this have to do with football? I’ll get there.
I like the situation at Notts. Forest [teehee] be fascinating. They are owned by the successful businessman Evangelos Marinakis, a guy who got his lucky start in life and has done very well for himself. You can assume that he knows how to understand, evaluate, use and bend others to his will.
Notts. Forest [teehee] had a fantastic, near-perfect 2024-25 season. They faded in the end and slipped out of the Champions League places, but the football world agreed that manager Nuno Espirito Santo had worked wonders. You can assume Marinakis agreed, as he gave his manager an improved three-year contract last summer.
Three months later he fired him [the reason for this is not relevant] and very quickly [and hilariously] replaced him with Ange Postecoglou [this decision is definitely relevant]. He fired Postecoglou 39 days and eight games later. Going from Nuno to Dyche would be bad enough, but doing so through eight terrible games of Postecoglou in the middle is a nightmare.
We all know this.
What we don’t know is how Postecoglou managed to convince Marinakis [a man who, as stated earlier, must have a good ability to understand, evaluate and make use of others] to give him the job in the first place.
Marinakis isn’t the first owner to mess up so spectacularly. For the purposes of this essay, let’s assume that anyone who has been so successful in life that he or she is in a position to choose the manager of a Premier League football club is equally competent. So why do they so often fail so spectacularly?
Souness, Allardyce, McClaren at Newcastle United.
Potter at Chelsea [Actually, half of the managers at Chelsea since Mourinho]. Moyes, Ten Hag at Man Utd. There are dozens. Maybe hundreds.
Our very own Eddie Howe proves that with the right hiring process, owners can thrive.
I’ve been thinking about this for years. The ridiculous, clearly wrong appointment of Sam Allardyce at Newcastle was the first thing that made me connect Andersen’s story to the hiring and firing of football managers. It was NEVER going to work. Moreover, when he got the boot, Newcastle United had to spend a fortune on sacking not only him, but also his 20-plus strong team of backroom staff.
I know football is different from the days when Clough and Peter Taylor did almost EVERYTHING at their clubs [“Telling a player to get his hair cut counts as coaching as far as I’m concerned.”] But imagine applying for a job as a football manager, telling your potential employer that you don’t know how to do 95% of the things you think are necessary, and STILL getting the job? How good could he be at the 5% of managing a football club that he CAN do himself? How did he convince them he was the man for the job? What nonsense did he spew at Freddy Shepherd?
Shepherd was a self-made man, who had made his money in transportation and related industries. It is reasonable to assume that he, [like Marinakis]would take a no-nonsense approach to matters such as recruitment [Whatever Allardyce’s nonsense was, it also worked with the recruiters at the FA, Palace, Everton and Leeds].
Nonsense allows someone to successfully operate high in one industry [advertising, for example]and then for the rest of their careers, despite reaching a level of mediocrity at best, getting other jobs high in completely different industries [the FA, Royal Mail, ITV, for example]apparently because those at the top think that ‘being a director’ is a skill that can overcome a complete lack of experience in other sectors. The applicant will be interviewed by people at the top who got there by spouting the same nonsense, and no one involved dares to point out that nonsense because it makes them all look stupid. Nonsense MAY be enough to convince other dealers that anyone, no matter how bad their track record, can do the job.
I think it’s fair to assume that this should happen at the highest level of football. How else can hard-headed businessmen like Marinakis and Shepherd be tricked into handing multi-million dollar contracts to employees to run their multi-billion dollar companies, when much of the football world knows they are doomed to failure?
It’s an emperor’s new clothes situation. It proves the enduring truth of Andersen’s story [And if you don’t agree, keep it to yourself. You don’t want people to think you’re stupid].
#Football #nonsense #Emperors #Clothes #Harry #Frankfurt