Fear, ADHD and addiction killed me. These simple lifestyle changes saved me in a year, I lost 54 kg – and finally said the doctors of the medicines that I needed life

Weekends always started in the same way for Will Pattinson.

After he had remembered alcohol all week, he would get stuck in a few Friday afternoon beers. But the indulgence of steam after a long week never ended there.

‘I never really drank midweek, but the weekend I come to heavy benders who could last two or three days. No sleep. Just escape, “Will, 30, says.

“The cycle was brutal. During the week I would feel like a shell of myself – anxious, exhausted, ashamed – and then haunting again the following weekend.

“I was stuck. And the worst was, I knew it. I not only did damage to my body, but also for my future and, more importantly, my family. I didn’t achieve anything meaningful. Just numb and survive. ‘

William, who started drinking as a teenager at boarding school, says for someone with ADHD and social fear, alcohol gave him a ‘quick hit of self -belief’ that he felt that he was missing – but soon it wasn’t enough either.

‘Over time, drink went hand in hand with drugs. Cocaine and MDMA were always in the mix when I was gone, “he admits.

“It became very serious. These addictions ruled my life for almost a decade. I lost motivation, direction and identity. My health collapsed – high blood pressure, gout, early signs of diabetes, and mentally I was completely empty. I was constantly on myself. But instead of facing it, I would just drink more, use more, avoid the truth.

At its heaviest, the 135 kg (300lbs or 21st 4 pounds) weighed and had high blood pressure, gout and the early signs of diabetes

“That lifestyle has covered my identity. I was never honest with myself – or with the people who loved me the most. I would tell white lies, play the joker, mask the pain. But behind the smile was someone who struggled to keep it together. ‘

In addition to high blood pressure, gout and early signs of diabetes, William suffered from serious fear and his weight was constructed to 135 kg (300LBS or 21st 4 pounds).

While he received medication for his fear, it will compare with ‘placing a connection over a much deeper wound’.

‘The medicines have finished the edge, but they did not deal with its roots. I didn’t like anything, just anesthetize – with fabrics, with distractions, even with recipes. It was the survival mode, not healed, “he says.

Although there were his whole life when William tried to make positive changes, he now realizes that he did it for the wrong reasons.

‘I always did it for other people – to make things smooth, to rebuild bridges that I broke, or to prove that I could do it. And every time it was short -lived, “he says.

William finally hit a trip to Europe last year.

‘In the beginning it was intended as a bit of a break – a way to escape, reset, see the world. But it quickly went in the same destructive patterns, just on a larger stage, “he says.

‘I drank heavily, used drugs, constantly partyed, lived quickly and reckless. On the outside it might look nice. But behind the scenes I was completely lost.

Will (photo) is 54 kg lower, a year sober and in training for the New York City Marathon

After they lose weight, become sober and run, Will (photo) was able to get the fear medication that he thought he needed life

‘By the end of the journey I was blown up, broken, mentally baked. I could hardly look at myself in the mirror. My health was seriously rejected … I remember that I thought, “If I continue like this, I will not be around much longer.” And it is so scary to think that that was not even a dramatic thought – it was reality. ‘

After returning home, Will knew that he had to take action.

“The European journey was a huge wake-up call. It discovered everything back and forced me to see the truth – I wasted my life, lied against myself and hardly survived. When I got home, something shifted. A trip to the doctor was a but -punching memory – this is not how my story should end. ‘

From that moment, Will says, he was ‘fully dedicated’.

‘I went completely sober for eight months, and although I fell back last summer, it was actually a blessing. It reminded me how far I would get and why I couldn’t afford to go back. ‘

William would like to emphasize that relapse should not be seen as a failure.

‘What defines your recovery process is not the relapse – it is what happens next. It’s how you see it, how you carry yourself through it, “he says.

And for William that meant going back to a sober lifestyle.

In addition to dumping the drink, Will has applied other lifestyle changes, which he says’ it was’ simple ‘in the beginning.

‘At the start of my transformation I concentrated on a calorie deficit and protein -rich diet. Nothing special – only whole food, consistency and keeping things easy. I have made a commitment to move every day, aimed at 10,000 steps and I have lifted weights twice a week. That was my basis, “he says.

‘As I became stronger – physically and mentally – my capacity grew. What started with short walks changed to runs. Eventually I fell in love with running. Now I have an average of 100 km a week and movement has become a non-native part of my life. It is my exhaust valve, my anchor, my therapy. ‘

In less than a year, Will lost no less than 54 kg (119LBS or 8th 7 pounds) and then started to concentrate on food as a fuel for endurance.

He completed the Paris marathon, has promised to walk 365 km next month and is planning to accept the New York Marathon later this year.

‘One of the greatest mentality shifts is learning to use my ADHD and addictive personality as super power. I have always had an all-or-nothing character-and for years it dragged me to Chaos. But now I have shown that energy in a new direction. I am addicted to growth, progress, to push myself. That is the fire that keeps me ahead. ‘

Will says that because he gets clean, he builds the building structure and keeps his body every day, he was able to come entirely from his anxiety medication.

‘Movement, discipline and goal have now become my medicines. That does not mean that it was easy or that I have no tough days – I do. But I have learned that mental health is not something that you solve and forget. It is something you succeed, you work on, you choose daily, “he tells me.

Now a year sober – and it is about to run and cycle 365 km in three days to raise money for the Black Dog Institute – says William that he is genuinely enthusiastic about what awaits us.

‘For the first time in a long time I am building – not destroying. And that feeling is better than every high that I have ever pursued, “he says.

The details of Will’s fundraising can be found here.

You can follow his journey here.