Elon Musk gets his $1 trillion pay package, promises robots will track criminals to stop them from committing future crimes – Jalopnik

Well, it finally happened. Tesla shareholders have officially approved Elon Musk’s $1 trillion pay package, potentially making him the world’s first trillionaire. The recently approved package would also allow Musk to increase the size of his ownership stake in Tesla, potentially giving him more than 25% of the company. Bloomberg reports. That said, it’s not like the shareholders just handed him a trillion dollars. If he wants his shares, he’ll have to hit a series of market cap and operating milestones along the way, and there’s no guarantee this will happen.

The market cap milestones are relatively simple, with the first being a $2 trillion valuation and subsequent milestones set each time the valuation increases by another $500 billion. The operational milestones, however, are a bit more varied: Tesla needs to deliver a total of 20 million vehicles, acquire 10 million subscriptions for its so-called “Full Self-Driving” software (which is not actually fully self-driving), deploy a million robotaxis, deliver 1 million of Tesla’s humanoid robots, and then bring adjusted revenues to $50 billion. After adjusted EBITDA reaches $50 billion, Musk will need to grow profits to $80 billion, then $130 billion, $210 billion, $300 billion, and finally $400 billion.

So for Musk to get his trillion dollars, he’s going to have to sell cars, build robotaxis, dramatically increase revenues, and somehow figure out how to get people to buy a bunch of janky robots that no one wants. Getting there won’t be easy, and that’s a good thing because no one should ever have that much money. No one should be allowed to become a billionaire either, but they certainly shouldn’t amass $1 trillion.

To put that into perspective, one million seconds equates to about 11.5 days, while one billion seconds adds up to more than 31 years. Meanwhile, a trillion seconds is more than 31,600 years. It’s beyond ridiculous, especially at a time when so many people are struggling to afford basic living expenses.

• Compared Tesla’s annual shareholder meeting to a “cyberpunk nightclub,” telling the crowd, “Other shareholder meetings are slumber parties.” Ours are bangers.”
• Claimed that Tesla will sell tens of billions of its humanoid robots because everyone on Earth wants “their own personal R2-D2.” Optimus will reportedly be “bigger than cell phones.”
• Claimed humanoid robots will usher in a future where “there may not even be money,” and Optimus is essentially an “infinite money glitch.”
• Promised that Tesla’s so-called ‘Full Self-Driving’ software (which isn’t actually capable of full self-driving) will allow owners to text while driving ‘in the next two months’.
• Claimed production of Tesla’s special robotaxi will begin in April 2026.
• Claimed it will cost about $20,000 to build each Optimus robot.
• Tesla said Tesla will “probably” have to build a “gigantic chip factory” to meet demand.
• Praises the Supercharger team he brought out for expanding the Supercharger network.
• Repeated claims that a new Tesla Roadster is still coming (at some point eventually).
• It is claimed that Tesla’s vehicles and humanoid robots will be a “natural fit” when it comes time to build a moon base.
• Hinted at a SpaceX IPO.
• Repeated claims that self-driving Teslas will be part of a “massive distributed AI inference fleet” that could make owners money when not driven.
• Promised we’ll see the new Roadster on April Fool’s Day, which may or may not have been an April Fool’s joke.
• He said it is “hard to imagine that any human will actually be in charge,” assuming that “artificial intelligence far exceeds the sum of human intelligence.”
• Claimed Tesla would also have to invest “tens of billions” to train its Optimus robots.

As you can see in the post above, Elon also claimed at one point that Optimus robots could one day be tasked with tracking criminals to prevent them from committing crimes. You know, because “criminal” is a specific class of people completely separate from normal people who aren’t genetically predisposed to commit crime or whatever.

Either way, fingers crossed, the Republicans will soon be out of power and the government will actually implement some real reforms that will stop people like Elon Musk from amassing more wealth than any human could ethically possess.