Wednesday evening,
I just made a cup of tea and thought I’d write a few lines. I’ve really come to appreciate writing, even though the lyrics don’t say much, it still means something to me. You walk around with different thoughts and reflections that sometimes only have to stay in your own head. Here it feels like at least they’re going and landing somewhere, maybe more in myself, or in someone who recognizes them.
I found an old photo of me and my sisters from Christmas 1997. I was 8 years old here, my sisters 10 and 6 years old. We were so little, so cute and so unaware of what life would be like. My oldest sister turns 39 today. I can’t understand how it’s been about 30 years since this photo was taken? CAN’T BELIEVE we’ll be there soon…at 40 years old. We talked on the phone today, or talked, I sang and she listened. But after my beautiful song we talked about how, shit, it’s at this age that you have to be in control of life, have order, have a plan and feel like, well, an adult. But no, even with children and husband and housing and car and job… when do you grow up? It just feels like a word we made up to not be kids anymore. But I try to play every day, or think that life is a game. We had so much fun at work today, damn, we laughed, and I got to meet my Rob and have lunch and talk about dreams. LOVE!
Last night Oliver and I bought a pine tree. We went to the bauhaus, it couldn’t be more tasteful, and found a beautiful pine tree, just the right size for our house. Tonight we decorated it and it turned out so nice. Our Christmas tree when we were little was chaos, there was glitter, there were flags, there were popsicles, there were homemade Santas and god knows what, and I fucking love it. It’s so liberating not to have a tree that fits one color or theme. Let it go!
The more I think about my childhood, the more I realize how free we were. We wore what we wanted, we were allowed to decorate our rooms however we wanted, with different stickers, Barbie worlds (that could stand for days) and bunk beds.
I wondered why we couldn’t buy pre-made gingerbread dough like my friends did instead of waiting 24 hours to bake, why mom sewed Batman suits for my little brother instead of buying them, why dad took analog photos when there were digital cameras. Today I understand that some things were intended to save on consumption, but many because our parents appreciated making things from scratch or showing us that you can do it that way too, and not just adapt to society. They were probably still original hipsters, without knowing it.
Now I sit and have to file the application with the Patent Office, which feels like an age-old authority that does everything as is expected of an authority. There is so much involved, formalities, the correct name… all you have to do is fill in one thing incorrectly and the entire application will fail. But will call tomorrow for advice. I am in the process of applying for design protection for my Fluffy Corner products.
Also do the bookkeeping and read how to close the books and the annual report. This is a complete science. PHUH!
Here’s a mirror selfie from today – How on earth are you supposed to take photos in this dark land?
Now I’m going to bed because tomorrow is the Christmas party at school at 8am, so an early start for all of us.
Kisses and good night
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