A post on Facebook recently got me thinking. It wasn’t about real estate at all, but it struck a chord because it perfectly captured something I’ve seen happen every day in our industry (thanks to Jonas Helbert, a real estate agent in Ohio, for the inspiration behind this article).
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The post was about politics, and especially about how people now only get outraged when it suits them. But what struck me was not the argument. It was the pattern behind it: a growing trend of tribal loyalty that permeates every corner of society, including real estate.
At that moment I realized something. As marketers, as business owners, and as agents, we need to understand how this plays out in lead generation. Whether we like it or not, people don’t just want a service anymore. They want coordination. They want to know what you stand for. And increasingly they want to know what you are against.
When I say Compass or Zillow, how do you feel?
Let’s make this a reality. Say the words Compass or Zillow out loud and take a hit. What do you feel? Some of you have probably just felt a spike in your blood pressure. Others rolled your eyes. And some of you may have leaned closer and thought, “What now?”
That’s because those names, Compass and Zillow, are no longer neutral. They have become symbols. For some agents, Compass means overhyped technology and recruiting gimmicks. For others, it’s streamlined systems and elite branding. Zillow? For some, it’s the death of the independent agent. For others, it is a guiding resource on which they quietly depend.
What matters here isn’t what you think about either company. It’s that you think something. That emotional response, good, bad or complicated, is proof that brands can become tribes. And if you want your message to resonate in today’s marketplace, you need to understand the tribal language your audience already speaks.
Selective outrage is not new. It is only now visible
The special thing about selective outrage is that it has always existed. People have always justified bad behavior on ‘their part’ while pointing the finger at the other. What has changed is that it is now visible to everyone, all the time. And because of the connectedness we have online, the pressure to take a side and make it known publicly is stronger than ever.
When people see bad behavior from their ‘team’, they stay quiet. When the other side slips, they reinforce it. It’s not about the truth. It’s about belonging. Outrage has, strangely enough, become a way to feel connected to something bigger than yourself. And that need for connection, for identity, is exactly why this is important in your marketing.
Tribal Alignment is the new marketing strategy
We live in a market where people are not just looking for a service provider. They’re looking for someone to get them. They want to hire agents who share their values, their frustrations, and even their industry enemies. That means clarity is more important than ever. If you know clearly what you stand for, people will feel safer choosing you. If you’re vague, they’ll scroll past you.
If your customers are frustrated by high-pressure tactics or bait-and-switch offers, say so out loud. If you believe in transparency, education and long-term thinking, show it.
And if you’ve built your business around strategies that don’t rely on third-party platforms or massive ad spend, share the why. The more specific you get, the more magnetic your message becomes.
Clarity does not prevent opportunities. It attracts loyalty.
You don’t have to be everyone’s agent
This is the hardest truth for most agents to accept. If you try to appeal to everyone, you will be forgotten by everyone. General messages no longer work. In a noisy world, neutral is invisible. And let’s face it: safe content doesn’t convert. If someone doesn’t know what you believe in after a week of following them, they won’t trust you when it comes time to hire someone.
But the flip side is powerful. The better you define who you are, the easier it will be to attract the right people. If you are known for being clear and not just nice, you inspire trust.
You make it easier for people to refer you, because they know exactly who you are for. This way you build brand loyalty before the listing presentation even starts. And that’s why agents who stop chasing blanket approval often end up with more clients, not fewer.
Choose a side, but do it ethically
Let me be clear. I’m not saying you should argue or call people names online. There is a difference between strategic positioning and personal attacks. You don’t have to gossip about other agents, bully a competitor, or get drawn into drama to stand out.
What you do need is the courage to expose broken systems, challenge outdated strategies and speak clearly about what makes your approach different. If Zillow’s model doesn’t align with how you think real estate should work, talk about it. If you think buyers deserve more than a script and a search link, say so. But make sure it’s about ideas, not individuals.
The goal is not to put others down. It is meant to uplift the people who believe what you believe. It aims to give your dream clients a reason to trust that you are on their side. Because that’s what people are looking for now: someone they can identify with. Someone who sees the market the way they do. And someone who has the confidence to guide them through it.
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