This weekend I was absolutely broken, physically and neurologically broken. I placed a huge service in St James’ Park when I saw the Lasses and the boys play Atletico Madrid in two separate football matches.
The ladies team (The Lasses) raised a brave and honest version. But in reality it was never really in the game. I enjoyed seeing both teams playing, especially in the second half. Our lasses gave it all they had, but Atletico was just too good everywhere.
The boys were competitive until Atletico scored early in the second half. After that their experience really told. I just wish I could have seen a Newcastle United Player score in one of the two games. It would not be the case.
But I don’t really write this message to judge football, although I enjoyed the promotion. If you read one of my previous articles, you may have enjoyed my writing about my experience with the Newcastle United Trophy parties as a person who is autistic. About how I knew that I would not have missed that time for the world.
I suppose it was because of the experience that it gave me the push to try to get tickets for the Sela Cup matches against Atletico Madrid.
I got the itching and I proudly bought tickets knowing that I could see both games. Since then I have been looking forward to it. But I also knew that I was setting myself up for another challenge with my autism.
In my blog about being in Newcastle for the trophy parties, I wrote about my fears and hope for the trip there, and I want to do something similar with this one. Because the day remained in the same way in my mind; My fears manifested themselves in the same way in my mind; Where I wanted a clear plan about how the day would go; plans for scenarios; Keep my mind in focus when I can feel it racing. The plan was simple: go early in Newcastle; Find somewhere quiet but close to the stadium so that I could get there quickly, get kicked off from 1 p.m. Because it worked for me in March, and it was known, the Discovery Museum was the obvious choice.
It almost went perfectly, I almost say because in my first faux only for my day schedule. I saw on my phone that it only opened 11 hours. This was the first indication that it might not be entirely that I had planned it. At the moment you tell yourself that you have to accept that sometimes things do not go to plan and you adjust yourself accordingly. So I spent the next hour or so walking around Newcastle, taking photos on my phone of everything my imagination took. Photos, by the way, that I don’t know what I’m going to do with. I need too much.
Then 11 o’clock; After checking for updates about Malick Thiaw News while I was waiting, I got into the museum and was gone for some time. I spent most of the time in my favorite part: “The Story of Newcastle” A thoughtful mix of interactive screens, suggestive dioramas and lifelike figures that trace the evolution of Newcastle through the centuries. I had hoped for a few minutes of quiet contemplation before it became loud and proud of football.
No, Jonathan. These are the school holidays.
I couldn’t help it, but on the same second of tortured screams of a Norman prisoners or something like that, which was a child who had too much fun with pressure on the iron bar to “take their punishment.”
This was all nice, but I realized that I wasn’t much quiet in this place. So I may have tried a little and took my own punishment for myself. 🙂
So after a cuppa and an early lunch in the cafe it was time to do what I came for. To be in the cathedral on the hill; Be among people in our shared love for Newcastle United.
Readers, before August 9, 2025, it was 14 years ago that I had seen a competition in St James’s park. Everyone remembers Somen Tchoyi and Tchoyi Story 3 at the end of the season (United led 3-0 at home in the last game of the season, only for Somen Tchoyi van West Brom to score a second half hat trick)? It was May 2011. That is how long it has been. And things have changed a lot in terms of access to the stadium.
I had to learn to use Google Wallet for the first time. With a bit of playing a few days earlier, I saw the information I would use. The letters were then “GEC-D” and I checked it when I arrived in the stadium. Now I was assumed that this was code for “Gallowgate Corner” … “Gallowgate East Corner” maybe? You see … there was a part of me that could reason that I would get in the right way. But I couldn’t just trust my belly. I had to be physically told by a stadium steward who had clearly seen that I seemed lost before I actually came into action and found one of the tourniquets that I had to endure.
And when I got there … well … I did just about everything wrong. If you asked me, did I correctly penetrate the Tourniquet, did I correctly show the barcode on my phone on the scanner? Did I get through without dropping anything … Did I not look like a bang rabbit kitten throughout the process? The answers to all those questions do not think about me carefully. But I made it.
Now I don’t know if this is the same for everyone; For seasonal card holders, for example, but the next moment, for me, makes everything worthwhile. For a great moment I have forgotten the other that I have just experienced. It was great to catch a glimpse of the still positions and other stands, although it was almost blinding in the sunny air, great for the first time in so many years. I don’t think there is something that you prepare for that as a sensory experience. It may sound soppy, but I think it’s true. It was as if it feels to see the inside of a stadium for the first time.
However, then it was time to find my chair. And that included finding a steward. Because although all the information I needed to find that my chair was on my phone, my brain could not interpret it to satisfaction. But then I was there. I was in my chair. It was cold but pleasant … The music was loud and fansy. I kept scanning around as if I was looking for threats. I continued to make my eyes as if I was trying to see if I could recognize that distance, people from the press box and the technical areas.
Every sensory input was a drain on my mind and body. But at least I was there. I was planning to enjoy every moment I could, because I was not told when I could be back here.
After the competitions the pleasure was over and there were still some challenges to get through before I reached the promised country. At home. I came to Newcastle Central Station and when I did, I feel the same known. What am I actually doing while I am here? I’ve done it several times before. I put my ticket in the barrier and cursed myself because I had not checked the destination signs for the next train back to Durham.
Fortunately I was lucky this time and it didn’t take long before an announcement told me that a train was not long to arrive. And that I would be free of crowds within 20 minutes. I was determined to get home on the next train available, even if it meant that it was between carriages with a large number of other football gamblers. And that is what I finally had to do. We all had to avoid each other while the movement of carriages shuffled us. At the moment, however, I didn’t care much because I knew it would not be long before I would smell fresh, cool Durham Air.
Here is my last point about sensory input. And I think it’s a meaningful. The last moment before I knew I was free from the hustle and bustle of people walked past the Slug and Lettice restaurant in the center of Durham, which was full of people. People who enjoyed themselves. The crowd was lively with benign chatter, cheerfulness and enjoyed being in each other’s company. What was fine. But the sound and the idea that I was part of it, just the idea that I was in the mix was enormously overwhelming. How do people do so easily, I wonder? It was not so much about the feeling of fear. It was more like a desire, the need to get away from those sensory inputs as quickly as possible. Only when I had passed all of that and was out of Durham, it all felt good.
And that was it. Suddenly I was alone. Suddenly I was in the Northern Saints train in Frankland Lane. It was peaceful. It was blue and sunny in the best summer evening sun. And only then did I really feel relaxed. The next thing you look forward to was coming home.
If you have stayed with me so far, thank you very much for reading about the autistic experience of this one person.
About what one person needs in the spectrum to experience what many other people take as a matter of course.
I hope that readers will have a better understanding of the kind of things that their loved ones may go through, especially on occasions such as this. It is of course not the same for everyone, but it is about understanding everyone’s needs and how they can be housed in a way that is suitable for them.
Well, it was an epic day and zero sela cup trophies to show it. But it was a rare opportunity to go to St James’s park to see the boys play, and I would not have missed it, even with all my sensory challenges.
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