This Christmas classic is particularly suitable for a baseball conversion. Although originally the creation of a Montgomery Ward copywriter for a 1939 season promotion, Rudolph was made famous by the portrayal of legendary cowboy singer-actor Gene Autry. Autry was the original owner of the Angels and led the team through seemingly endless name changes for 35 years. The club never reached the World Series under Autry’s ownership, despite three division titles, but they also never lost 100 games.
There was Big Hurt and Paulie and Nellie and Minnie,
Now just Sosa and Vargas and Meidroth and Bennie
But do you remember?
The most (in)famous White Sox of them all?
Jerry the Red Nose Reinsdorf
Had a very shiny beak
And since he became chairman
Things have become extremely bleak.
All the many Sox fans
Mock him and curse his name
They all have failures
He’s the one to blame.
Then a misty Christmas Eve
Santa Claus came to say:
‘Jerry, you think you’re so smart,
Try to guide the team tonight.”
Then all the Sox fans shouted:
“Dagnab it, son of ab*$,
Led by the red-nosed Reinsdorf,
Then we end up in a ditch.”
But it wasn’t just a ditch
Where the team was led –
No, he rammed them eagerly
Into a cliff instead.
Most of the world had a happy Yule
But the day for Sox fans was shocking
Because they just ate tasteless porridge
And they had nothing but coal in their stocking.
Yet it is the Christmas season
So even Sox fans can dream
Of the day he will see reason
And Reinsdorf will sell the team.
Jerry the Red Nose Reinsdorf
Had a very shiny snout
But it wasn’t bright enough
To figure things out someday.
(alternate closing verses)
Jerry the Red Nose Reinsdorf
Had a downright glowing schnoz
But his greed destroyed the team
Since he fired Oz.
Yes, Jerry the Reinsdorf with the red nose
Had a very shiny snout
And Sox fans will celebrate
When he finally gets the boot.
Oh yes, Jerry the Reinsdorf with the red nose
Had a very neon horn
And he is the obstacle we all have to overcome
I hope the Sox can overcome one day.
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