In Yoga diaryIn the Archives series, we share a curated collection of articles originally published in back issues dating back to 1975. These stories offer a glimpse into how yoga has been interpreted, written about, and practiced over the years. This article first appeared in the March-April 2001 issue Yoga diary. You can find more of our archives here.
Tada drashthuh sva-rupe vasthanam.
Then the seer remains in his essence.
—The Yoga Sutras 1.3
A few years ago, I was sitting at my desk working and realized I had lost an outstanding invoice. As I anxiously searched for it, my then four-year-old daughter entered the room and asked for my attention. I said I was busy looking for something important and would come back later. Within a few minutes she returned and asked softly, “Have you found yourself yet, Mom?”
I was humbled by her question. Had I found myself or something else after years of yoga study and spiritual search? I had, but the “path” was not what I had envisioned at the start of my journey in 1970.
The meaning of yoga
In the beginning, I believed that being spiritual meant seeking, finding, and achieving something outside of myself that would bring me happiness and fulfillment. For example, I sought the company of well-known gurus and teachers because I was convinced they had the answers. I practiced a strict program of yoga postures and held them for excruciatingly long periods of time in the hope of self-transformation. And I read every book on yoga and enlightenment I could find.
I thought I understood what it meant to be a spiritual person, until the day I became angrier than I had ever been in my life over a disagreement with a co-worker. I literally saw red. I discovered that this is not a metaphor, but an actual physiological phenomenon.
I was shocked by the depth of my anger and retreated to my room, where I sat in despair. How could I become so incredibly angry after all my years of practicing yoga? I felt like I was a failure and that all my attempts to reach a higher level of spiritual development were a joke. I felt my ideas about myself as a spiritual person drain from me.
At the exact same moment, something else filled me. It was a feeling, an understanding, an experience that was equal parts equanimity and peace. This condition lasted for three days. I could clearly see that it was not my ideas about spirituality that would bring peace to my life.
Whether we seek something called spirituality, holiness, or enlightenment, the path to it is through our humanity, complete with our strengths and weaknesses, our successes and our failures. You could say that we use ourselves to discover ourselves. In my case, it required a deep letting go of what I thought might be the enlightenment that allowed me to taste even a little bit of it.
Many great teachers have led the way, emphasizing that they (and their teachings) in themselves are not the answer. For example, Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21). Patanjali addresses this same point in the first book, verse three, of his The Yoga Sutras: tada drashthuh sva-rupe’vasthanamor then the seer remains in its essence.” This important verse clarifies a core concept of Patanjali’s work. He starts with Thanmeaning ‘then’ or ‘when one is in the state of yoga’. (It should be noted that Patanjali uses yoga in the sense of “a state of wholeness,” as well as the practices associated with this state.) And when you are in a state of yoga or wholeness, you are resting in your own true nature.
A favorite image I use to explain this verse to my students is that of a sculptor. When cutting stone, the sculptor removes everything that is not the statue. She adds nothing to create it, except the willingness to do the work. The art of revealing beauty lies in removing what hides it. Similarly, Patanjali tells us that wholeness exists within us. Our work is to cut away everything that is not the essence, not the Self.
Many of us come to yoga because of some difficulty in our lives. For some it is physical, such as discomfort in the lower back or knee. For others it is emotional, like depression. And for still others, the appeal is philosophical, like the feeling that life has no meaning. Most of us have a combination of reasons. Often, however, the rise of yoga comes with an outwardly acknowledged or inwardly unspoken expectation that yoga can solve problems, eliminate pain, and, most importantly, guarantee us that they will not recur. As I discovered through my experience with anger, nothing could be further from the truth.
While yoga practice can certainly help our aching backs and strengthen our minds, it cannot insulate us from the pains that life inevitably brings, such as losing loved ones, illness, growing older, not getting what we want – or even getting what we want.
If yoga doesn’t guarantee a life without pain, why do we do it? I have found that being in “a state of yoga” alleviates the suffering caused by being separated from my wholeness.
Suffering is different from pain. Suffering is caused by the emotional response we superimpose on our pain. Becoming aware of our emotions and thoughts about pain can release their hold on us and reduce our suffering. The path to this awareness is through constant mindfulness, remembering that each moment is sacred and holds the potential for self-transformation. This consciousness is the tada, or ‘state of yoga’, of which Patanjali speaks.
From this perspective, spiritual seeking is not what we do outwardly, but what we recognize inwardly. Practicing yoga in the deepest sense means committing to developing consciousness by observing our lives: our thoughts, our words and our actions. There are many yoga techniques that can support us along the way, such as postures, breathing exercises and meditation. But these are not ends in themselves, but means to the Self. The true beginning of spiritual practice becomes apparent when we accept responsibility for ourselves, that is, when we recognize that ultimately there are no answers outside ourselves, and no gurus, no teachers, and no philosophies that can solve the problems of our lives. They can only suggest, guide and inspire.
It is our commitment to living with an open heart and our dedication to the daily details of our lives that will transform us. When we are open to the present moment, we radiate forward. Right now we are not on a spiritual path. We are the spiritual path.
How to observe yourself
If there really are no answers outside of ourselves, we must learn to focus on ourselves and become comfortable doing so. Continued practice can remind us that there is nothing we need to be whole that does not already exist within us. It combines a yoga pose with a mantra for everyday life. You can select a mantra from the following, or you can create your own.
Abiding Practice can be done virtually anywhere, anytime. Set aside some time every day to practice, even if it’s just five minutes. Above all, be kind to yourself. Do what you can: Never force anything. To relax, choose a quiet place at home or at work. Determine how much time you have and set a timer so you don’t have to watch the clock while practicing. Choose a soothing yoga pose that you feel comfortable in, such as lying in Basic Relaxation Pose (Savasana) in your yoga practice room or on your bed, or a seated variation of Mountain Pose (Tadasana) at work.
Make it easy on yourself. For example, you can place a rolled-up blanket under your knees and a rolled-up towel under your neck in the Basic Relaxation Pose, or a stack of books under your feet and a rolled-up towel near your lumbar spine for support in the Seated Meditation Pose. Whatever you choose, make sure your body is placed in a symmetrical position and that your spine is soft and long.
Once in position, close your eyes so they can look down toward your heart. If you are lying down, cover your eyes with a washcloth. Relax your jaw and throat. For the next few minutes, quietly observe your breathing.
When you feel comfortable, say your daily life mantra to yourself. Rest in the pose.
Most daily activities are goal-oriented. At Abiding Practice there is no other goal than to fully experience your own life, free from the distractions caused by thoughts, plans and even walking around. We all spend most of our time forgetting to feel, feel and know life – moment by moment. Abiding Practice helps you fully experience every moment. Instead of trying to fill yourself up, this is your chance to feel empty, still, and present.
To end the exercise, follow the rise and fall of the breath, as you did at the beginning of the exercise, and repeat your daily life mantra.
When you feel complete, open your eyes and come out of the pose. Stretch and take the time you need to transition to your next activity, knowing that you are okay.
Other practice suggestions
Create a sacred space
Designate a quiet place at home or work where you can practice yoga, medicine, write in your journal, or daydream.
Magazine
Write a brief account of why you started (or want to start) yoga. Reread it occasionally to renew your commitment to the practice.
Study
If you find yourself wanting to study with a teacher, pay attention to what attracts you to that person. Perhaps it is his or her generosity, compassion or patience. Think about the ways in which this quality is already present within you.
Embrace loneliness
Make an appointment with yourself every week to spend time alone. You can practice yoga, take a walk in nature, listen to music or do nothing. If you choose to do nothing, don’t feel guilty about it.
Keep a list
Notice what is important to you in living your yoga. What needs your attention? Remember that your life is a work in progress. Please check the list regularly and update it to reflect your changing needs.
Discover
Are there certain aspects of yoga, such as studying the? The Yoga Sutras or meditation, that you want to explore but don’t know how to start? Ask a fellow student to describe how she started.
Mantras for everyday life
Start and end each day with a mantra for everyday life:
I am my own authority.
My life is a work in progress.
I long for wholeness.
All the answers are within me.
Life is practice. Practice is life.
I commit to living my life fully in this moment.
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