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Key Takeaways
- When I was a young entrepreneur, I went on a mission to meet successful people and ask them one question: “What is the best advice you have ever received in your life?”
- The answers I received not only advanced my career, but they also gave me invaluable lessons on how to live a meaningful life.
I have always been inspired by the success of others. But I’m also curious where that success comes from. What sets someone on the path to becoming a visionary? What fuels their belief that they can change the world?
Nowadays I run one of the worlds most successful calling software companies. But many years ago, I was a young entrepreneur who needed some direction. So I turned my curiosity into a kind of mission to meet successful people and ask them one simple question:
“What is the best advice you have ever received in your life?”
Here are two of the most memorable answers I’ve ever received. I hope they inspire you as they continue to inspire me.
Related: 10 Entrepreneurs Share the Best Advice They Ever Received
Steve Forbes on seizing opportunities
When I was in my early twenties, Steve Forbes was one of the people I most admired in my life. He had launched numerous successful publications and business ventures. I thought whatever advice would put him on that path would also have real value in my life. So I promised myself to find an opportunity to meet him.
This was the early 2000s, and Google search wasn’t yet advanced enough to help me figure out how to get in touch with such a prominent person. But eventually I came across a small event in Santa Monica where Forbes was going to speak.
I was living in Seattle at the time. It took every dollar I had in the bank to buy a plane ticket there. But that’s what I did.
When I arrived, there were about 100 people in the room. Forbes began by talking to the group about a book he had recently written called How capitalism will save us. For the next few hours, I listened to his advice and heard him answer questions from the audience, wondering when and if my moment would arrive.
Towards the end of the evening, a line formed for people to have him sign their books. I set up my copy and waited for my turn. When I finally reached the signing table, I looked him in the eyes and said:
“Mr. Forbes, I flew all the way from Seattle today to ask you this question.”
Forbes looked up. “That’s a lot of trouble,” he replied.
“Well,” I said with a smile, “I expect a good answer. Can you tell me the best advice you’ve ever received in your life?”
He paused for a moment.
“No one has ever asked me that before.”
I remember thinking he was joking. I couldn’t be the first to ask Steve Forbes about the advice that helped him become one of the most successful people in the world.
He crossed his arms. Then he said slowly:
“It must be what my father told me when I was young: This is not a dress rehearsal.”
What he meant, he explained, was that we only get one chance at life. You have to do everything you can to make sure you seize the opportunities that are in front of you now, because you won’t get a second chance.
Ironically, I was already following Forbes’ advice when I bought that plane ticket. If I had passed up this opportunity, our paths might never have crossed and it might never have strengthened my belief in the value of taking risks to achieve your goals.
As you can imagine, this belief has served me well throughout my life and career, especially as a CEO, where success requires action and comes down to inspiring others to take their own chances. But the best leaders don’t force people into action; they help them bring out the best of themselves. I saw that lesson come to life years later, in a conversation with NFL coach Pete Carroll.
Related: 5 risky lessons from founders who bet big and win
Pete Carroll on staying true to yourself
Pete Carroll is a coach, most recently for the Las Vegas Raiders, my favorite football team of all time. Years ago I decided to sign up for a coaching clinic he gave, despite the fact that I am neither a football player nor a coach. Even at six feet tall and 220 pounds, I was one of the smallest guys there. Not that it mattered; I wasn’t really there to learn football. I was there for the question and answer session.
As soon as the questions started, my arm was raised in the air. Everyone around me asked questions about play, formations and strategy. But when it was my turn, I asked Carroll the same question I asked Forbes at his book signing.
This time I got an answer right away. Without skipping a beat, Carroll said to me:
“The best advice I ever received in my life was to be myself.”
He continued. “If I try to be someone I’m not, things don’t end up working out for me. You have to know who you are. Obviously we all want to be better, but you shouldn’t try to be someone else. Try to be the best version of yourself.”
Carroll’s advice stuck with me because it was simple but deeply human: You cannot lead or live effectively if you pretend to be something you are not.
That perspective has shaped how I try to show up as a CEO. The best results come from helping people discover what makes them great. When people feel free to be themselves, they show up with passion and do their best work. It’s a lesson I still carry with me today.
Related: Training to be the best version of yourself: the how-to
How asking for advice changed me
The advice I received from Forbes, Carroll and others has done more than just advance my career. It has given me valuable lessons on how to live a meaningful life.
Forbes’ answer taught me to seize opportunities, even when the path was uncertain. Carroll’s answer has taught me to stay grounded in who I am while doing it—a mindset that has shaped everything from PhoneBurner’s Responsible Communications™ initiative to the way I approach fatherhood and family.
Those lessons can surface again, often in moments that remind you what really matters.
A few months ago I wrote my mother’s obituary. As I reflected on her life, I realized that a eulogy is not a LinkedIn profile. It is not a summary of titles, milestones and achievements. It’s a story about the things you love most and the risks you’re willing to take for them.
In other words, life is not a dress rehearsal. You only have to do it once, so you better do it in a way that honors your passion and your unique gifts. One simple question gave me that perspective – so you better believe I’ll keep asking that question.