If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in ‘survival mode’, then this is for you.
In an episode of Summon greatnessI sat down with host Sonnie to talk about reinvention, habit change, money mindset, and the identity changes that actually move your life forward.
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No vague ‘think positive’ stuff, but the real deal: the choices that are made when no one is looking.
This conversation was about how I went from scraping by after college to building an online business with a newborn on my lap, plus the mindset shifts that helped me stop waiting for rescue and start intentionally designing my own future.
The turning point that changed everything
In my book Glow Up Yourself, I told the story of how after college I did what many young adults do. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I had no budget. I didn’t keep track of expenses. I felt hopeless and frustrated because I couldn’t get the ‘right’ job with my degree. I did side gigs, waitressed and continued to grind, but I noticed this wasn’t a sustainable path.
I also tried different business ideas, dropshipping, random online stuff, but nothing really stuck.
Then I got pregnant.
That was the moment I stopped treating my life as a “figure it out later” project. It wasn’t just about me anymore. I had to make a serious plan, set goals and take responsibility for a little person. I started my business shortly after my son was born and grew it while he was still a newborn on my lap.
Today, I also run an M&A marketplace where content creators and investors buy and sell digital companies. There I found a passion that surprised me: the world of digital assets and deal making.
Reinvention begins when you throw away what no longer fits
Sunny asked a powerful question: what beliefs or habits did I need to let go of before the first real transformation could begin?
My answer was simple and honest.
The biggest change started before pregnancy: I stopped drinking.
When I was twenty, drinking felt normal. Pub culture. Working in a bar. Social life is built around it. But I felt it was pulling my life in the wrong direction. If I wanted to move forward, I had to move forward.
From then on, the next shifts were smaller, but they piled up.
- Stop sleeping in until late in the morning
- Start waking up earlier step by step
- Build routines that support the life you want
Eventually, I became someone who loves getting up at 5 a.m. because that time gives me calm momentum for my own projects.
The important thing is this: habits don’t change your life once or twice. They change your life through repetition. The more you practice new behavior, the more natural it becomes.
You don’t have to hate your past self to evolve either. That version of you survived. She brought you here. You can honor her without continuing to live like her.
Habit stacking is the glowing shortcut
One of my favorite parts of this conversation was how clearly habit stacking came up.
If you stop drinking, it will be easier to wake up earlier. When you wake up earlier, a strong morning routine becomes more realistic. When your mornings get better, your days get better too. Then your self-confidence grows because you start to trust yourself.
That trust is a big problem.
When you keep promises to yourself, even small ones, you start to think, “If I can do this… what else can I do?”
That mentality often spreads to other areas: eating better, moving your body, taking care of your home, setting better boundaries, making smarter money decisions.
I’ve shared a few real-life examples:
- Eating more vegetables, prepping meals, making small changes that stick
- Exercise more in a way that requires little effort, such as walking while working
- Using a treadmill under a desk to knock out emails and exercise at the same time
These are not rules for a ‘perfect lifestyle’. They are practical upgrades that strengthen the connection.
Identity-based change is the part most people skip
In my book Light yourself upI talk a lot about rebuilding identity, not just circumstances.
Here’s what that means in real life.
If your goal is to train more, you will struggle if your internal story:
“I hate the gym. I have to do this. This sucks.”
Identity-based change flips the script:
“I am someone who moves every day.”
If you want to write a book, stop treating writing as a punishment and start thinking like an author:
“I’m an author. Writing is what I do.”
This is not a delusion. This is brain training.
Your brain pays attention to what you repeatedly think and say about yourself. When you connect those thoughts to action, your identity begins to change. You start keeping your word to yourself. That creates faith, and faith creates results.
I shared a personal example of quitting drinking. At first I literally said something to myself that wasn’t true:
“I don’t like alcohol.”
I repeated it so many times that my brain accepted it. And eventually it became true. Saying “No, thanks” no longer felt like willpower. It became normal.
A simple psychological trick for difficult moments
Sonnie said she once heard Lewis Howes share this idea: “when something feels hard, smile.” So she tried it on a part of a hike she always dreaded, a steep incline that always worried her before she even reached it. She started smiling as I climbed.
“After enough reps, a strange thing happened: I was no longer afraid of that part of the course.”
Your brain struggles to fully commit to “this is terrible,” while your body sends out a “this is safe” signal, as if you were smiling. It disrupts the fear loop. You can use it for anything that’s difficult: workouts, awkward conversations, annoying tasks, the tax issues you keep avoiding.
‘No one is coming to save you’ is not harsh, it is liberating
This is a core theme in my work and Sunny asked about the difference between true self-reliance and temporary motivation.
Here’s the truth: motivation fades. Self-reliance is being built.
No one is going to wake you up and make you write the manuscript. No one will force you to go to the gym. No one will magically solve your money situation. For most of us, there is no fairy godmother and no wealthy benefactor.
So the moment you stop waiting for salvation is the moment you reclaim your power. You become the person on your own rescue mission. And then everything becomes possible, because you no longer ask for permission.
The Creative Director Framework: 4 Roles to Help You Shape Your Life
I shared a framework that I love because it makes personal growth feel actionable and not abstract.
Consider yourself the creative director of your life. If you want a ‘life upgrade’ you can go through four roles:
1) The visionary
This version of you sets the concept for your next season.
- What am I creating now?
- What do I want to achieve?
- What needs to change to get there?
2) The editor
This version removes what no longer fits the vision.
- Habits that don’t work
- Environments in which you get stuck
- People who take away your energy or pull you back
Not everyone can come with you. Some people are given access in smaller doses. That is part of the growth.
3) The producer
This version makes the plan a reality with systems, structure and resources.
- What money should be allocated to support this goal?
- What tools or support make this easier?
- What routines and systems keep this sustainable?
Producers finance projects and build logistics. Your life goals need that too.
4) The talent
This is the version of you that shows up every day and lives it.
Not just dreaming, not just planning, but doing the work as if it were normal. The talent embodies the identity.
Shift from survival mode to a mindset of wealth and opportunity
One of the first changes I made was simply believing that wealth was possible for me.
I didn’t come from money. I grew up with a single mother. We were able to make ends meet and I had a good childhood, but financial literacy was not one of them. I had to learn everything myself later.
The habit that helped the most was also one that many people avoid: regularly looking at my finances without shame.
- Check my bank account regularly
- Tracking expenses
- Save costs
- Watching small improvements add up
I used a basic spreadsheet. Nothing special. But when I saw the numbers moving, even slowly, I believed I could build wealth.
That belief changed everything because it made me more open to opportunities. I started trying out ideas without making a huge dramatic thing out of it. I tested, learned, adapted, kept moving.
Sonnie shared a similar experience, gamifying savings and turning money into something empowering rather than stressful. That’s the point: your relationship with money can be rebuilt. It is not fixed forever.
If you want to start your own reinvention, try this today
Here are a few simple takeaways taken directly from this conversation:
- Write down the version of your life you want, pen to paper. Treat it like a script you are designing.
- Choose a habit that you actively hold and want to get rid of.
- Choose one small habit to add that will make the next habit easier.
- Practice identity language that fits your purpose, then back it up with action.
- Do a quick “Creative Director” audit: visionary, editor, producer, talent.
You don’t need a perfect plan. You need direction and the willingness to keep showing up.
Closing thought
Reinvention is a series of choices. After a setback you can rebuild. You can change your habits. You can change your identity.
You can learn money skills that you were never taught. You can become the creative director of your life and start editing into a future you really want to live. And you can start from scratch.
Follow along on Instagram!
#creative #director #life