NIR OZ, Israel — The hum of construction has replaced the gunfire that once raged through this quiet kibbutz less than two miles from Gaza — but for survivor Irit Lahav, the fear has not gone away.
“I was born here. I love this kibbutz,” she told The Post in Israel this week. “I want to make it alive again, full of energy and happy. But every night I’m still scared.”
More than two years after Hamas terrorists massacred and kidnapped more than a hundred residents of Nir Oz in the Oct. 7 attack, reconstruction is underway, even as tragic memories remain.
So far, 14 families have moved back, with ten new homes almost ready for a group of around 30 young couples waiting their turn. Some live temporarily in kindergartens and community buildings – whatever is still standing.
“Sixty percent of the houses are total losses,” Lahav said. “Completely burned down. So anyone who wants to return must renovate. Even if it was just a shooting, a grenade in the house or broken windows, you still have to repair it.”
The kibbutz is taking over house by house, as Hamas terrorists entered all but six of the community’s more than 200 homes, Lahav said.
“Slowly, slowly, the kibbutz is trying to renovate the houses that are in a better condition,” Lahav explained. “Because we have the money and time to renovate more, more people will move in.”
But the country’s survival and security depend on the passage of the next steps in President Trump’s peace plan — something that is far from guaranteed. Hamas has not agreed to disarm or give up power as outlined for phase two of the plan, and the Israeli army faces daily incursions from armed terrorists from Gaza City trying to sneak past the yellow line dividing Palestinian- and IDF-controlled parts of the territory.
For now, construction is the main sign of movement in the community, aside from the occasional artillery explosion as the IDF destroys buildings and tunnels in Gaza and pushes back against terrorists.
The kibbutz was one of the hardest hit by Hamas during the October 7 attack, with IDF soldiers only able to reach the kibbutz the evening after the morning attack. Of the 1,139 people killed and approximately 240 kidnapped by terrorists that day, 123 were from Nir Oz alone.
“It’s different in Nir Oz than in other kibbutzim,” she said. “The entire kibbutz has been destroyed, so we have to rebuild the entire kibbutz.”
When Lahav’s own house was being repaired in May, she returned alone.
“I was the only person in the whole neighborhood,” she said. “Even if I shouted, no one would hear me.”
For her, rebuilding Nir Oz is more than a physical act; it is an act of courage. One that asks her to stand in a place that reminds her of the worst of humanity, and to believe that life can go on here.
But starting over can be scary for anyone, let alone survivors of unthinkable horror.
“I went to sleep and locked all the windows, closed all the blinds and made sure my door was locked 10 times,” she said. “Then I woke up and locked my bedroom door again. It was very difficult for me – and it is still very difficult for me – to sleep here.”
The government allowed her to keep both her home in Nir Oz and a temporary apartment in Kiryat Gat, an hour away.
“They said until you decide what you want to do, you can keep both,” Lahav said. “It’s good because I can go back to Kiryat Gat, sleep and wake up fresh.”
But months later, she still struggles with the question of whether she really belongs here anymore.
“It’s been six months, and I’m still scared every night, again and again and again,” she said. “Would I want to live in a place where I was afraid all my life? What kind of quality of life would I have?”
Her fear is not unfounded; it is deeply rooted. Lahav was at home on October 7, 2023, when terrorists stormed her community and set houses on fire. Families were murdered in their safe rooms; others, including children, were dragged across the border into Gaza.
“I’m afraid of terrorists coming into my house,” Lahav said. “I’m not afraid of rockets. I’m afraid of terrorists coming out of the Gaza Strip like they did – and coming to my house and kidnapping me, or killing me, or raping me, or whatever they’ve already done.”
Before the massacre, she didn’t see the danger coming. Lahav said she regularly volunteered to accompany Palestinians in Gaza for treatment in hospitals in Israel because she deeply believed in peaceful coexistence.
Since then, an estimated 67,000 Gazans – or about one in 33 residents – have been killed in the war following the October 7 attack, according to the Palestinian Health Ministry, which does not distinguish between Hamas terrorists and innocent civilians.
“I thought the people there – the Palestinians – are good people like me. They all want peace,” she said. “Now, after October 7, I understand that they really, really hate us. They think rape, murder and kidnapping are legitimate.”
Even as the kibbutz tries to heal, the scars remain visible – and not just on the buildings.
“The woman who will live before me – her husband was murdered and her daughter was kidnapped and released,” Lahav said. “Her house is ready, but she hasn’t slept there yet. She’s hesitant… it’s very difficult emotionally.”
Lahav understands that hesitation better than anyone. She has experienced both sides: the urge to rebuild and the instinct to flee.
“At first I said, I’m never coming back here,” she said. “Then I thought: I want to come back and rebuild the kibbutz. Now I don’t know.”
Still, for a few nights in a row, she tries to reclaim her home and her sense of peace.
“I love the trees,” she said wistfully. “It used to be one of Israel’s fourteen botanical gardens. Now it’s hard to see, but it was very beautiful.”
Those trees, planted by her parents when Nir Oz was first founded, are what tie her to this place.
“My parents created the kibbutz. I want to come back,” she said. “But it takes a big toll.”
#Haunted #horror #October #survivor #torn #kibbutz #rebuilds #Hamas #massacre