DEAR ABBY: I just left a verbally and physically abusive relationship. I suffer from mental illness and ‘Scott’ has made it worse. We lived together for almost four years. I could beat myself up if I decided to live with him. He is an alcoholic, narcissistic, bipolar, sociopathic liar who swears he is a man of God. Scott kicked me out countless times during the time we lived together because he knew I had nowhere to go. The last time was five months ago.
I still love and care for him, but I heard last month that he met someone at AA and took her in. She lived with him until yesterday. We were still ‘together’ until two weeks ago, but without romantic encounters. I’m torn to pieces because of this man. It took over me and who I was as a person.
Scott has a history of abuse. He has a criminal record for killing an animal while staying with someone. I didn’t stay away from him because I was sucked in by his charm. I now live with a friend and see a psychiatrist and therapist who do NOTHING for me! Scott and I were engaged. We were supposed to get married in anticipation of him being sober for a year, which never happened. I don’t know what to do. Please help. – BROKEN WING IN MINNESOTA
BEST BROKEN WING: As I read your letter, I hear the strains of Cole Porter’s “So in Love.” Please look up the lyrics as they accurately describe you. What you need to do is continue talking to your therapist and getting medication from your psychiatrist until they help you undo your fixation on someone who, if your description of him is accurate, is a sociopath and incapable of love. eachAn. Until you can do that, your story won’t have a happy ending.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 66 year old woman, married and have two daughters. I am also 6 feet tall and weigh 108 pounds. This is not something new. But every time there is a meeting with my in-laws, at least one of them tells me to put meat on my bones – in those exact words. I find it rude and insulting. I’m certainly not telling them to pick the meat off their bones.
I can’t help my size, metabolism, or genetics, and I’m tired of the comments. These people have known me for 39 years. I’ve always been this size. I don’t know what to say to them. I don’t care about being kind anymore. – LIGHT IN OHIO
BEST LIGHT: If you really don’t care about offending the offenders, take off your kid gloves. Tell your in-laws that you have tolerated their comments for too long and that you need to stop because you don’t like it. If, heaven forbid, they say you’re “too sensitive,” ask them how they would feel about being told they’re overweight and their perfume smells like garbage. (I’m sure you can think of something if you stop laughing.)
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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