I was in excruciating pain. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything.
I was a 14 year old and ranked higher than anyone my age in the world. I had a career ahead of me that I always dreamed of and today I am a 31 year old getting ready to compete with Evan King in the Nitto ATP Finals for one of the biggest titles in our sport.
But as I reflect on my debut at this event, I reflect on my long struggle to get here
Seventeen years ago I was dealing with a bone infection in my left thigh. All I knew at that moment was that my leg hurt. It felt like I had constant cramps in my leg, but it was the bone that actually hurt.
It first appeared when I was seven or eight years old. It happened coincidentally when I was 14 and in the space of four weeks the infection doubled in size.
They had misdiagnosed it a few times, so figuring out that it was a bone infection was difficult and a whole process in itself. Once it started to hurt, we knew something was wrong and it was almost a relief to hear that I had a bone infection.
Bone infections can become serious if they move into your hip. Before modern medicine, they would amputate legs if they were so painful. Medicine has made a lot of progress, but that’s the amount of pain it can normally cause. Luckily they now have better ways to treat it and I considered myself pretty lucky at the time. I was able to receive good care.
Nick Bollettieri was the one who put us in the Mayo Clinic so I could travel with my family to get treatment. We finally took care of it with surgery and from then on I had a smooth recovery – it was just a matter of time to heal.
[ATP AWARDS]
But that was just the beginning. When I turned 19, I tore a labrum in my hip. I ended up having several operations. I had two hip surgeries, a shoulder surgery, a wrist surgery, and then two adductor surgeries, all within a year of each other.
They kept me out of action for almost three years. I continued to have problems from so many surgeries and over the next few years I missed another year and a half here, and another year there.
In those moments, the most important thing is to find ways to keep yourself happy and positive. I kept thinking that things could always be worse. It was of course tough, but I never lost my motivation. I have always found ways to keep my spirits high. I wanted to continue and you tell yourself there is a way it can be done.
My brother Ryan was still playing and he was very successful, which helped. Once ranked number 40 in the world in singles and number 16 in doubles, I kept my interest watching him because I wanted to be there by his side. I always looked up to Ryan and was so proud of him. That kept me motivated, around the sport and with something to aim for.
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The hardest part wasn’t when I wasn’t playing, but when I started playing again. It takes a while to meet the standards you expect of yourself. But I always knew that I would never lose the joy of playing the game.
Since I was fifteen, I haven’t hit a tennis ball for almost nine years. But in the end I managed to reach a pretty high level. I climbed into the Top 200 in the PIF ATP Rankings and reached the semifinals of an ATP Tour event in Delray Beach as a qualifier in 2021.
I qualified for a major main draw for the first time in 2016 in 2022, did it again two years later at Wimbledon and finally made it to another Slam main draw at SW19 in 2022.
During my first round match against Jay Clarke I hurt my right foot quite badly. I was awake for two sets to love and he took a bathroom break, giving me plenty of time to think about it.
I already had a persistent problem, stood up and could not put weight on my foot. I had to pack it up and bring something to get through it. I managed to win the match, but had to withdraw early in the second round.
Photo: Justin Setterfield/Getty Images
It turned out I had a chip in my heel. I cried after I won the first match because I knew I probably needed a long break and I already thought if I had another one I would double up. After one of the best moments of my career I had to sit and do nothing. That was the moment I decided to shift my focus.
I was young enough that I still believed I could come back and I certainly wanted to. I really enjoy playing tennis. I get a lot of satisfaction from hitting the ball and I always have. That’s why guys like Novak Djokovic and Stan Wawrinka are still playing. That’s not necessary, but they love tennis. That’s how I feel.
Last season I started playing doubles full-time and now Evan and I compete in the Nitto ATP Finals alongside the best players in the world. Carlos Alcaraz, Jannik Sinner and more are all there.
Being in this situation makes me appreciate it. Playing big games in stadiums like the Inalpi Arena makes it so much fun. It makes you get up early and the days when you are tired and have to fight just to feel good and go to the field so you can enjoy playing. Then you are here. It’s a good reminder that everything you do is worth it for your own reasons.
I didn’t want to give up and accept that injuries or surgeries would be the reason I quit something.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m grateful to be here and I’m trying to do everything I can to play as long as I can.
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