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Key Takeaways
- Recognizing small victories daily can shift the focus from stress to success, creating a more positive outlook.
- Celebrating progress rather than waiting for final results can sustain motivation and joy throughout any journey.
- Clarifying and acting on personal values and a vision statement for your life can instill a sense of purpose and control.
Lately a few clients have approached me in a bad mood. They felt stressed or overwhelmed by a growing list of unfinished projects, tight deadlines, and bosses constantly urging them to “do more with less.”
Although my clients remain committed to their work, they have reported that they have recently struggled to feel good about it. Here are the five steps I shared with them to get out.
1. Make a list of small victories
Keep a log or diary of things that are going well and add a few specific things to it every day. Look at it often. No matter how many things you feel are going wrong, force yourself to think about the things that are going right Are things are going well (at home and at work).
Identify a productive meeting. Think about a meaningful conversation you had with a colleague over lunch. Maybe you learned something valuable at this week’s town hall. Maybe your son scored a point in his little league game, or you finally got that kitchen cabinet fixed. Great, put it all on the list.
What we think about grows, so the more you choose it focus on the goodthe more you automatically and immediately notice the good. This also has the opposite effect. So the longer you refuse this, the longer you will feel like everything is broken.
2. I don’t want to celebrate
When it comes to recognizing specific outcomes or results, don’t wait until you achieve them to celebrate them. If you wait until the destination to acknowledge progress, you will miss all the joy of the journey. If you don’t celebrate along the way, you may never reach your destination because people get so discouraged.
No matter how big your goal is, set milestones along the way and make time to observe and note progress. This means focusing some of your attention on leading measures (rather than just follower measures). Leading actions are predictable and controllable actions or behaviors that ultimately help us achieve our goals.
If you wanted to lose 50 pounds, you wouldn’t wait until you see the last number on the scale to celebrate for the first time. You’d probably acknowledge your progress at 20 pounds, and you’d probably also celebrate what you were doing reaches that progress: going to the gym, drinking water and eating healthier. We must celebrate leading action along the way in everything we do.
3. Watch your language
If you’re feeling down, chances are you’ve been thinking negatively, especially in your conversations with yourself. Negative self-talk is a real thief of happiness.
Last week, an ambitious client told me that he “did nothing for a whole day and then felt guilty” because he was so burned out from work. I offered my very driven client a reframe for his language. That’s because I chose to see his use of time differently than he saw it. Instead of ‘sitting around and doing nothing’, I believed he was doing something very important ‘something’: resting, reflecting, recharging and re-energising so that he could be his very best self the next day. It’s easier to feel comfortable and supportive of our decisions if we choose to frame them positively.
I’m not saying you should let yourself go because you’re deliberately lazy, unethical, or unkind. Assuming you’re doing your best, though, it may be helpful to give yourself a little grace. How you shape the difficult situations you find yourself in is entirely up to you. Berating or nagging yourself (or others) won’t make your problems go away.
4. Agree on percentages
You won’t survive if you spend all your time on terrible tasks. Make a point to schedule 10% of your time (for example, at least five hours in a 50-hour work week) for fun things you enjoy.
Years ago, my company was going through some downsizing and I was asked to spend an inordinate amount of time in budget meetings focusing on who and what we could cut. These were my least favorite subjects, and it was harder to enjoy my work than usual. During that pro season, I made it a point to still host a weekly book club with other passionate leaders and recognize a few people each day. I also asked employees to send me success stories, which I made time to read every day.
Looking for creative opportunities to smile kept me sane during this difficult time. If you’re frustrated at work but don’t squeeze one or two simple joys into your daily schedule, your frustration will quickly turn to misery.
5. Start with the end in mind
The hardest times feel easier when we think about our memories Why. If you don’t have a vision statement for your career or your life, create one. If you already have one, make sure it’s in a place you see it often, like your bathroom mirror, and start checking in on it daily.
Vision statements work best when we can make them actionable. If you look at some of the tenants in your mission statement and think, “I have no idea how I actually live with that,” then you have exposed a large part of your problem. We feel best when we align our behavior and the way we spend our time with what we do participation is most important.
Even if you don’t know where you want to be in the future, you can probably identify WHO you want to be. Thinking about who we want to be is always a matter of acting on our values: for example, transparency, authenticity, courage, compassion, curiosity, etc. Once you have identified your core values, start every day by asking how you can live them. You will immediately experience a greater sense of control and clarity in your days.
Tough times are inevitable, and they come for all of us. I guarantee that using these simple five steps will help you navigate these moments in a much better mood, saving you the energy needed to actually move forward.
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