And then it hits you.
There is no UFC card tonight.
On Valentine’s Day.
This is the first time in recent memory that the UFC has collectively looked at its fan base and said, “You know what? Get out there. Touch your hands. Experience feelings.”
Cheeky.
The five stages of nocturnal mourning without struggle
1. Denial
“Wait, that can’t be true. There are always fights.”
You frantically Google. You check Paramount+. You renew the app. UFC wouldn’t just leave us like that, right?
They would. They did.
2. Anger
“Why would they do this to us?”
Every other Saturday someone is kicked back to another dimension. But tonight? Silence. Romance. Soft lighting.
Horrible.
3. Negotiate
“Maybe there’s a late card? Maybe Dana is announcing something on Instagram?”
You briefly convince yourself that Dana White will pop up live and say, “Surprise! Heavyweights fighting in a parking lot in 30 minutes.”
He doesn’t.
4. Depression
You stare at your TV.
You consider watching old fights. Maybe that classic from UFC 229.
You whisper, “One more time.”
5. Acceptance
Fine. You celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day without violence
For years, fight fans have used the UFC as a built-in excuse.
“Sorry honey, I can’t eat. It’s a big menu.”
“Sorry honey, it’s a title fight.”
“Sorry my love, someone has to watch two welterweights lose weight.”
But not tonight.
Tonight, the UFC exacted accountability.
You will have to make eye contact.
You will have to talk about feelings.
You’ll have to pretend you know what “love language” means and not just list five submission types.
What do we even do?
Without a main event, couples have to improvise.
Instead of debating whether a Split Decision was a robbery, argue about where to order dessert.
Instead of shouting, “SHOOT!” at the television you whisper, “That’s beautiful, darling.”
Instead of watching someone survive a five-round war, you survive a two-hour romantic comedy.
Honestly? A five-round co-main event might have been easier.
The real winner
Let’s be honest. The real victors tonight are significant others around the world.
They don’t have to compete with octagon violence, walkout music or your loud opinions on leg kicks.
Somewhere, a partner is smiling softly, unaware that an entire group of fight fans are pacing around their living rooms like caged lightweights.
But don’t worry
The octagon will return. The gloves will be laced. Someone will lose 4.5 pounds and blame it on “travel issues.”
And when that happens, we forget that this dark, silent Saturday ever existed.
Until then, keep your loved ones close.
Or at least practice your footwork in the kitchen.
Happy Valentine’s Day, fight fans. 💘🥊
#Valentines #Day #violence #UFC #Saturday