The unexpected lessons of walking the Camino after 30 years in real estate

Camino De Santiago board (Canva)



Just like thousands of other people, after seeing the film The Way Together with Martin Sheen, last fall I decided to walk the Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James, often shortened to just the Way), reportedly the route he took when he evangelized Spain. I happened to notice that the Way is also a concept for life, as set forth in the Tao Te Ching. And like thousands of other people, I decided to walk the trail for the wrong reasons: I thought it would be a fun adventure.

In the movie, the main characters all walked the Camino for some personal reason and it turns out that they got what they wanted to varying degrees, but they all got what they needed in some profound way. While that’s all fun in Hollywood movies, you don’t just go for a walk and expect a life-changing experience in the real world. Of course it will be fun and exciting, but don’t expect any revelations.

A fun adventure – nothing more

As I did my preparation and research, I discovered that the Camino de Santiago was a thousand-year-old Catholic pilgrimage. There seemed to be a lot of emphasis on why you walk the Camino, and many articles emphasized the importance of understanding this.

Being a well-adjusted person with 30 years of real estate experience and a good life, I thought little about it and started preparing for the physical challenges. I started walking three to three miles three times a week with an eight-pound pack, slowly increasing the distance and weight until, as the day approached, I was walking eight to nine miles two to three times a week with a 15-pound pack. I was ready for my fun adventure; what can go wrong?

Apparently everything.

I can’t remember anywhere in the movie where they had sore feet, shin splints, or swollen ankles. By the second week, I – and a few thousand of my closest friends – started limping, and most of us were wearing compression stockings, compression sleeves, and bandages. Fortunately for us, after a thousand years of pilgrims, most of the farmacias along the route are experts in foot problems and helped us well. My left foot hurt almost every day, but I managed.

‘Why are you walking the Camino?’

Moreover, most fellow pilgrims are always willing to share their foot knowledge and dressing materials. Now, after 30 years in the real estate business, where everyone tries to bargain something from you, I immediately noticed that my fellow pilgrims were offering something for nothing. But after thirty years in the industry, I know there’s no such thing as something for nothing, and I was cautiously skeptical. I’m not a cynic, I’m just street smart.

I also noticed that many pilgrims asked, “Why are you walking the Camino?” It was clear that they had seen the film and read the articles as well. My first morning I walked a few kilometers with a young man who was walking the Camino for his partner, who had committed suicide a few months earlier. The partner’s mother moved in and claimed the body, leaving this man with nothing to remember him by. This was a sad story and it touched me deeply, and I’m not a cynic, but when you have problems in your life, walking is not a way to solve them. It’s a fun adventure, nothing more.

And a fun adventure it was. The 780 kilometer route winds west through northern Spain and the rolling hills are spectacular. Spain was spared the bombings of World War II, and each city is a parade of stunning structures that have stood for hundreds of years – some for a thousand or more – silently watching as kings, wars and even more pilgrims came and went. The big cities have beautiful architecture, and I especially fell in love with Leon and Santiago de Compostela, the final destination.

A thousand years of pilgrims

Source: Gerald Tostowaryk

There are beautiful old churches in every town and I have been to mass many times along the way. Not understanding Spanish, my mind noticed many things I had never noticed before, and the Mass came alive in new ways. The priests and nuns often blessed the pilgrims and made sure that each of us was blessed individually. Most Masses had many non-Catholics present, and if you are not Catholic you can still come forward for Communion; just cross your hands over your chest as you come to the front and the priest will bless you.

I love food, and trying Spanish cuisine was a pleasure, but we didn’t have much time for exotic meals. Every day is the same: get up, walk, have breakfast, walk, have lunch, walk, check into your albergue (similar to what we call a hostel), shower, snooze, do laundry, book your next albergue, eat dinner, go to bed. Time is tight and breakfast is usually a tortilla – a potato-and-egg dish in Spain – and lunch is usually a bocadillo or sandwich.

The meal of the day is dinner, and this is an affair never to be forgotten. Most albergue owners cook the meal themselves, and we pilgrims break bread together in the beautiful, timeless tradition of a communal supper, sharing our stories of the way. I’ve also had many wonderful conversations with albergue owners – people who open their homes to pilgrims, not just as a means of income, but because they care deeply about humanity. You meet a lot of people and share a lot of stories, and along the way you encounter many of the same people multiple times, forming lifelong bonds with some of them.

‘Good way’

You will also meet many Spanish locals and just share a conversation. I found the people in Spain incredibly hospitable, such as the old man with his dog with whom I had a chat at a rest stop, or the farmer along the road who handed out extra bunches of grapes to pilgrims for free. Many of them smile and wish you Good way.

I met an older Spanish pilgrim named Javier. He was 81 and walking his 12th Camino. We spent three days together and formed a special bond. In a church-run albergue we had a session where pilgrims talked about why they walked the Camino. Once again, more tragic stories emerged, and a young Chinese man shared his story. I had seen him on the trail earlier that day and thought he was quite distant, probably thinking he was better than the rest of us. His father asked him to move back to China, but he refused; as a young man he had a life to live. Shortly afterwards his father passed away, and he walked the Camino because he wanted his father to be happy in heaven, knowing that his son was sorry. Clearly the guilt was getting to him.

Have I misjudged this man? Am I a cynic? No – probably a coincidence – and I shook it off. Then Javier shared something about his wife in broken English before bursting into tears. We cried together, and later that night at Mass we cried again.

From left to right: Gerald and walking companion, Javier (Source: Gerald Tostowaryk)

On our third and final morning together, Javier told me, “We walk together all day.” After 30 years in real estate, I was surprised by people like Javier, who wanted nothing from me other than real friendship. I started to wonder if I was indeed cynical.

That day was one of the most powerful days on the Road. We passed the Cruz de Ferro, or the Cross of Iron, where you throw your stone at the foot of the cross and leave all your worries with God. Javier showed me a secret alternative path, usually only known to locals, that bypassed one of the steepest and most dangerous parts of the route. My foot was bothering me and I slowed him down. The hot Spanish sun beat down on us mercilessly and he had four more kilometers to walk than me that day. Being 81, I didn’t want to endanger him and told him to move on. He looked deep into my soul and said six words: “We walk together all day.”

That moment touched me deeply. Later that day, as we parted—perhaps never to see each other again—we hugged and I fought back tears. I had never met a man like Javier.

The way you can talk about is not the Way

Another young woman I met and encountered a few times, when she told her story after dinner about why she walked the Camino, said nothing other than, “I have to believe there is still hope.” I have no idea what happened to her to make her feel this way at such a young age, but once again I fought back tears.

There were so many others, like the young man from Toronto, who I again judged based on his appearance and turned out to be completely wrong. I finally realized that after 30 years in the real estate industry, negotiating everything with everyone, maybe I was cynical and had a lot of prejudices. I decided to change that because I realized I got what I wanted – my big adventure – but more importantly, I got exactly what I needed. Hey, wait a minute, just like in the movies.

I wish I could share all my experiences with other pilgrims, but even if I could, words could never adequately express the range of emotions you feel flooding over you in a grand adventure like this. At the beginning of this story I mentioned that the Way has the same name as the concept of life in the Tao Te Ching. It is at the very beginning of this book the way you can talk about is not the Way. How true is that.

Words cannot adequately describe the experience I had along the way. I now realize why people walk the Way of St. James, and I will go back. I urge you to go too; you get what you need.

Good way.