Two teenagers who attacked former DOGE employee Edward “Big Balls” Coristine were sentenced to probation by a judge in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday.
The court imposed 12 months probation on the male defendant in the case and nine months on a woman who pleaded guilty to simple assault. according to WUSA 9 News.
D.C.’s Metropolitan Police Department arrested the two 15-year-old suspects from Hyattsville, Maryland, the day after the August 3 attack on 19-year-old Coristine, allowing the boy to return home under strict release conditions and sending the girl to a youth shelter. Other alleged accomplices remain on the run.
“I hope you can figure it out and be prepared for the consequences,” Coristine reportedly told the defendants via video link, thanking the courts and MPD for their work in bringing the couple to justice.
Coristine and a female companion were attacked in a D.C. parking garage around 3 a.m. in what the victim called an attempted carjacking, which he said involved “a group of ten guys.” The subsequent attack left him with a concussion and a broken nose, all the while becoming a MAGA cause celebre.
The programmer gave a full account of the incident when he was a guest on the Fox News show Jesse Watters Primetime end of September.
“When we got to the car and she started looking for the keys, they started yelling at us, and I quickly knew something was wrong with this situation,” Coristine recalls.
“So she unlocks the car, I rush her to the driver’s seat. I close the door behind her and she can lock the doors. The moment I turn around, they are right next to me – just a few feet away.”
“They hit me against the car and started throwing some punches. I’m holding my hands up. I’m getting hit a lot here and I’m just trying to protect my head as best I can.”
A photo of the bloodied Coristine at the scene was posted to Truth Social shortly afterwards by President Donald Trump, who used it as part of his advocacy for cracking down on urban crime in the nation’s capital by sending in the National Guard to support the MPD, which he duly did on August 11.
Coristine, the grandson of an executed KGB spy, was nicknamed “Big Balls” during a high school math class and later publicly embraced it on his LinkedIn profile, which caught the attention of Elon Musk earlier this year when he was looking for staffers to join DOGE, the agency Trump has tasked with eliminating excess spending within the federal government to reduce.
Coristine had briefly worked at Neuralink, another Musk-run company, and was a mechanical engineer and physicist at Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts, before joining DOGE.
He then worked for the government’s General Services Administration and, after resigning in June, was hired by the Social Security Administration.
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