Other countries clearly have more fun naming car products than America – Jalopnik

America gets a lot right in the automotive sector. When it comes to muscle cars, no one does it better, and the same can be said about putting together a decent full-size, whether it’s a pickup or a family-friendly SUV. However, when it comes to having fun naming car products, Americans get too serious for some reason. Everything is Ultra-this or Max-that. It’s all very clinical and correct, which is strange considering some of the most iconic US nameplates are actually quite nice. Think Road Runner and GTO Judge.

Luckily, the rest of the world knows how to have a little fun when it comes to automotive products, and while it may seem a little weird and unnecessary, the importance of a quick chuckle while on the job can never be underestimated. And if your brand name is really funny, a well-thought-out marketing campaign can quickly make it a household name, so that silly names might not be so silly after all.

To demonstrate this, here are a handful of car products with a more humorous title that we could find around the world. Make sure to spread the joy and shout out anything we missed in the comments.

This is one of the most iconic names for any automotive product, and it could only come from Australia. In fact, a large portion of car products with cute or rude names come from the Land Down Under; the people there clearly have a talent for it.

Anyway, it’s called Start, bastard, and it is an engine starting fluid from Nulon, an Australian oil manufacturer. In the product description, Nulon says that when choosing a name, it simply chose “the three words most commonly used” by anyone who suffers from a difficult-to-start engine.

Nulon says one spray is all you need, it’s compatible with gas and diesel engines and it’s completely safe for the engine, as you’d hope. It is not a permanent solution, in the sense that while it will start your car, it will not solve the underlying problem, if there is one. But it’s certainly handy to have a can just in case the moment arises – and if nothing else, seeing it on the shelf should bring a smile.

No product name is as in-your-face and crude as the one you’ll find in the retail department at Bowden’s Own. Some of the best car cleaning hacks involve the clever use of brushes, and the Australian brand has us covered with an aptly named brush: The Chubby. The company calls it “a very enjoyable 9-inch tool.”

However, a brush is only as good as the spray you use it with, so don’t forget to add some to it Down and dirty in your shopping cart when you shop at Bowden’s Own. The product is intended for cleaning tires and undercarriage, so the name is very appropriate.

The fun doesn’t stop there either. Once you’re done scrubbing and washing, you’ll need a good towel to dry the car. Now, not all microfiber cloths are the same, and certainly none have as brilliant a name as the Twisted mother piston of Bowden’s Own. To demonstrate the superiority of its towel, the company states “because nothing sucks like our mother,” underscoring the confidence Bowden’s has in the capabilities of its largest dryer towel.

Other notable entries from the Australian firm include Happy Ending finishing foam, Mega Snow Job snow foam and The Foursome detail brush set. Clearly, no one appreciates a cheap laugh more than the Aussies.

Keeping things on the lyrical side, Bouncer’s – a smaller detailing brand from Britain – brings us Vanilla ice cream. Perhaps the perfect finish for your Mustang 5.0, the wax is aptly named due to a tasty vanilla scent. Let’s kick it.

To top it all off, AutoFinesse brings us the ObliTARate Tar and glue remover, and yes, the maker capitalizes on the “TAR” aspect of the product name, to make sure the joke doesn’t go over the customers’ heads. Don’t worry, AutoFinesse, we noticed.

Let’s end on a high note and give a shout out to a laughable product name that actually comes from America: Knock’er loose. It’s a penetrating solvent from CRC Industries, a company that’s been around since 1958, when it was founded in a modest garage in Pennsylvania. The world is your oyster when it comes to solvent ingress, but we’d be tempted to choose Knock’er Loose to remove those stuck bolts from all the competitors, just because the can will put a smile on our face every time we pass it, in a way that Kroil or PB B’laster never could.

Not that the name really needs any explanation, but here we go anyway: These types of penetrating solvents are designed to loosen and loosen stuck/stuck nuts, bolts, locks, cams, hinges… you name it. Naming your product Knock’er Loose immediately creates trust. It just sounds like it will get the job done with ease, so not only is it fun, it makes sense.