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My dogs are my children. I have already drawn up a grieving plan for when they die
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My dogs are my children. I have already drawn up a grieving plan for when they die

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Furry friend or public pest? Not everyone wants to be grabbed by a pug in public. Is the increasing humanization of pets and their inclusion in society best for all of us? Watch Insight episode It’s Just A Dog on SBS on request.
As a veterinarian, I see the emotional bond that people have with their animals every day.
And I have the same bond with my own two girls, Nisha and Ruby. My dogs don’t like my children; they are my children.
I was never trained to care for people, only their pets.

This didn’t sit well with me.

A veterinarian (a woman with a black high ponytail and in black scrubs) listened to the chest of a black Labrador in a vet room with a red stethoscope.

Anupam works as a veterinarian and also runs her own palliative care service for pets. Source: Delivered

With my first After 15 years of clinical practice, I didn’t have enough time to care for pet parents as well.

The limited time for consultations meant I could only be a veterinarian, only diagnose and treat conditions.
I felt like I didn’t have the ability to adequately educate people about how their pet’s diagnosis would affect their own lives and their human-animal bond.

Practicing this way didn’t feel holistic and I wanted to do more.

That’s why I started my own mobile service for veterinary palliative care in 2024. I still work as a locum veterinarian but also visit the homes of people who need extra support with their pets.
From post-surgery recovery management to end-of-life support, I help pet parents access allied health care and liaise with their regular vet so they can provide the best possible care for their pet.

Essentially, I provide a clinical perspective and emotional support to families while serving as a medical advocate for their pet.

Taking care of animals like people

The anticipatory sadness that I see in people when their pet is terminally ill is palpable.
Many pet parents care for their animals the same way they would a human family member.
They hand feed them, medicate them, clean them up and take them to medical appointments.
Some will even take time off work to spend more time with their sick animals.

It is a difficult process to see someone you love disappear towards the end of their life, and I believe the responsibility of deciding when to say goodbye weighs heavily on most.

‘Don’t want children, don’t want to get married’

I never wanted children, but people always said, ‘wait until you get older, wait until you get older.’
The older I get, the more firm I am in my decision: I don’t want children, I don’t want to get married.

I’m quite happy being single with dogs and enjoying life with them.

I’ve had a turbulent life in many ways, and I feel like dogs have shown me more humanity than some people.
They keep me grounded, humble and soothed. They help me with my anxiety and when I’m having particularly difficult days, they remind me what life is really about.
My girls have given me unconditional love and support when I needed it most.

Their love nourishes my soul, and they have saved me more than once.

A grieving plan

But the other side of such pure love is deep sadness.
As the girls get older, I feel the anticipatory sadness.
It’s likely that I will outlive them, and I just can’t imagine this.

Coming back from work to an empty apartment just doesn’t feel like home anymore.

an image displayed side by side. left: a woman with long black hair and a black dog on her forehead. right: a selfie of the same woman and dog cuddly toy on the couch

Anupam says her dog Nisha is her soulmate. Source: Delivered

I have a grieving plan in place for when my dogs die because I really don’t think I will be okay.

My friends and chosen family know that they can seek professional medical and psychological help for me when the time comes.
In my work I have witnessed many people turning to psychologists and GPs for support and medication when grieving the death of a pet.

For many, it is not that different from grieving as a human being.

I believe that in the end it’s about who we are, not what we are.
We have a limited time with the amazing pure souls that are pets – so it is important to cherish every moment with them.
Our pets see the best in us, so be the person your pet sees in you.
Readers seeking crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for under 25s). More information and mental health support is available at Beyondblue.org.au and on 1300 22 4636.
Griefline offers confidential support on 1300 845 745 and via sorrowline.org.au.

#dogs #children #drawn #grieving #plan #die

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