The Kinsey Institute and Match just launched their 14th Annual Singles in America Study and it’s a goldmine of insight into how we’ll love, desire, and connect (or not) in 2025. From the rise of AI-enabled flirting to post-Roe dating hesitations, the findings paint a vivid picture of what it means to look for love today.
And that’s just one look at the state of dating in America. The Kinsey Institute’s own research, led by experts like Dr. Justin Lehmiller, goes even deeper. This year SHA annual sexology conferenceLehmiller explained how changing social norms, sexual behavior and technologies are redefining what it means to connect in the modern world.
Who is dating (or not): modern dating in 2025
About 5,000 adults between the ages of 18 and 97 were surveyedrepresenting all US states and diverse backgrounds. The sample included:
51% women, 48% men and 1% non-binary
4% trans participants
88% straight, 5% gay, 6% bisexual, 1% other identities
Representation across regions and income levels
Of these adults, almost half have been single for five years or more, while another quarter have been single for one to four years. Nearly half have not had a single date in the past yearwhile one in five had five or more.
How do people meet each other?
Despite new tools and old traditions, online dating still reigns supreme:
20% met on a dating app
18% through friends
12% at work or through “chance encounters” (coffee shop meet-cute, anyone?)
10% on social media
A small one 0.6% used a matchmaking service (watch the reality TV spin-off).
Are singles ready for love?
Half of participants said they are ready for a long-term relationship, with 1 in 3 saying they are terribly finished.
62% of single seekers want a committed, exclusive relationship (two-thirds of women agree, slightly fewer men agree)
58% of women and 39% of men say so not interested in casual sex
When it comes to first dates:
1 in 5 does not have sex on the first date
Most people say it takes three dates to assess sexual chemistry
Almost 1 in 4 gives priority trust and emotional connection mainly
What makes someone attractive
It turns out that being nice is still sexy. The best qualities singles look for:
And the biggest deal breakers?
Modern dating in 2025: the connection costs
Dating isn’t cheap. Singles now spend more than $200 per month, while active daters spend almost $300, almost double what people reported in 2013.
Men report expenses twice as much as women on dates and preparation, although they both put the same effort into pre-date grooming.
Romance is not dead
Despite all the cynicism, love is alive and flourishing:
60% of singles identify as romantic
60% believe in love at first sight (compared to 34% in 2014!)
73% believe romantic love can last forever
69% believe in fate
51% think there is one perfect person for them
Hopeless romantics, be happy.
Gender and generations
The gender gap is real. And people see it this way; 70% of singles say this is increasing, especially among Generation Z (80%).
And yes, 25% of singles have had a date with someone 10+ years younger, with men reporting this more often.
Love, politics and sex
Politics still shakes up relationships:
13% of singles have lost friends because of their views on abortion
At least 9% changed their sexual behavior afterwardDobbs (Roe v. Wade reversal) having less sex, using more birth control, or dating less often
Generational Deep Dive: Modern Dating in 2025
Another nice finding from this study was seeing trends between generations.
Gen Z (18–27):
Fewer have sex; 30% are deliberately celibate
Half have used AI for dating assistance
68% want to get married, but fewer want children (49%)
More likely to wait for a committed relationship before sex (29%)
Report the smallest gender gap of all generations
Millennials (28–43):
The “horniest generation,” reporting the most sex and the most boredom with “vanilla” sex (50%)
64% want commitment, 39% are still open to casual dating
More than half feel behind in achieving life milestones
Use dating apps the most (52%)
Generation X (44-59):
Almost half are divorced
Most likely to feel left behind in relationships (55%)
Use dating apps and AI less than younger singles
More accepting of gender roles than Boomers
Boomers (60+):
Why sexual health professionals are more important than ever
Dating can be complicated these days, and singles are increasingly turning to dating sexual health professionals for guidance. The study shows that 81% of active daters seeking advice, compared to just 51% of those not actively dating.
42% turn to friends while 33% don’t seek guidance at all.
Gen Z are more likely to ask their mother or siblings (25%), which shows how reliable guidance is evolving.
About 1 in 10 singles are consulting a therapist or counselor – a number that is likely to increase as more adults remain single and seek support in navigating modern relationships.
Why is professional support so crucial?
Communication continues to challenge many singles:
43% report mismatched expectations for casual versus serious relationships
41% struggle with different communication styles
39% note differences in emotional availability
Family dynamics also play a big role:
65% say their parents influenced the way they date
1 in 3 I feel like their upbringing has made trust more difficult
40% of Gen Zers Blame parents for poor communication skills
Most singles don’t see their parents as #RelationshipGoals (#yes, I’m a millennial), and that’s where sexual health professionals step in. They fill the gaps left by family and friends, helping individuals navigate their personal and sexual histories, develop communication skills, and create a safe space to explore relationships and sexuality. In short, sexual health professionals are essential guides in the modern dating landscape.
Modern dating in 2025: the bottom line
Modern dating isn’t dead; it evolves. From AI-assisted matchmaking to post-Roe realities and Gen Z celibacy, singles are rewriting what connection means. Yet one thing remains timeless: people crave honesty, empathy and emotional security.
Dr. Justin Lehmillersocial psychologist, researcher and author from the Kinsey Institute, will unpack groundbreaking insights about single adults in the US during this year’s Dating Trends. SHA annual sexology conference including some these shifts reveal about relationships, sexual behavior and intimacy.
Like Dr. Lehmiller and other global experts from the SHA annual sexology conference Remind us that these are the moments that define our work. Whether supporting singles through heartbreak or helping couples deepen connection, sexual health professionals are the bridge between confusion and clarity in modern love.
Ready to be part of the change?
Get certified through SHA and mentor the next generation of daters towards connection, trust and authentic intimacy.
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