Masturbation as exercise training – not just a habit
One of Erica’s most compelling insights comes from sports psychology:
“We have to train for what we want to be good at.”
Masturbation, she explains, is an exercise activity – just like running or dancing. Yet most people discovered it when they were young and never changed their practice. As adults, they expect sex with partners to feel natural and satisfying, while maintaining a very different solo pattern.
This creates what she calls a mind-body divided:
In the context of the training for certification of sex coach and sexologist, this reframing is crucial. Professionals need to understand that solo sexual practice is not separate from relational sexuality; it informs them directly.
If someone swims all week and then expects to do well in basketball on Saturday, frustration is inevitable. The same goes for sexual performance and connection.
Psychological bodywork: allowing pleasure in the room
Erica’s work stems from Sexological bodyworka modality founded by Joseph Kramer. It is unique in that it explicitly allows the pleasure-based arousal system – and not just fight, flight, freeze or fawn – to be present during the session.
Instead of talking about sexuality in the abstract, the body becomes part of the process.
Erica describes it as follows:
Medical model: “Tell me how you run.”
Observation model: “Let’s keep an eye on you on the treadmill.”
Psychological bodywork: “Let’s go for a run together and observe what’s happening in real time.”
This approach allows practitioners to distinguish:
For those pursuing Sex Coach and Sexologist certifications, this somatic literacy is essential. Sexual health is not merely cognitive – it is embodied.
Resetting cortisol, oxytocin and the nervous system
Stress plays a major role in sexual problems. High cortisol levels suppress libido and arousal. The mind often interprets stress as:
Erica emphasizes the importance of the executive branch stepping in and reshaping that narrative.
The pleasure – especially the conscious solo touch – increases oxytocinthe hormone associated with bonding, trust and security. Oxytocin lowers cortisol. When practiced consciously, masturbation can become:
This shifts performance from pressure to current state – where the mind is present but does not interfere.
In the advanced training to become a sex coach and sexologist, understanding neurobiology is no longer optional. Fun is medicine. It’s regulatory.
Attachment restructuring through solo exercises
Perhaps Erica’s most groundbreaking insight has to do with masturbation coaching attachment theory.
Her early career in private education and parent-child programs allowed her to observe attachment dynamics firsthand – modeled after the basic research of Mary Ainsworth.
Attachment patterns (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized) are formed early in life. But intellectual awareness of attachment style is not enough to bring about change.
The question becomes:
How do we create change?
Erica’s answer: through embodied repatterning.
As adults, many people wear:
Shame on their genitals
Negative self-talk
Disorganized pleasure responses
Fear or avoidance around intimacy
Masturbation coaching, when done consciously, becomes a form of self-healing.
Instead of:
“What’s wrong with you?”
“You should be different.”
The inner dialogue shifts to:
“You’re okay.”
“I got you.”
“We can explore safely.”
This creates what John Bowlby a safe base – an internal safe place from which exploration becomes possible.
For professionals in the Sex Coach and Sexologist certification programs, this is transformative: masturbation is not just skill development. It’s attachment repair.
Destigmatizing masturbation in couples
Erica also addresses a common relationship myth:
“If you masturbate, you are not allowed to love me.”
Part of professional training in sexual wellness includes reframing masturbation as:
Supplement
Recreation
Discovery
Self-regulation
Proactive care
The more comfortable practitioners become masturbation as a healthy physical activitythe better they can dismantle clients’ shame.
Changing the story changes the outcome.
What this means for sex coaches and sexologists
As the field grows and more practitioners pursue it Certification sex coach and sexologistErica’s work emphasizes several core competencies:
Nervous system literacy
Somatic consciousness
Attachment-based frameworks
Trauma sensitivity
Fun-positive education
Reframing performance as flow
Extending masturbation beyond orgasm
Masturbation coaching is not about ‘teaching technique’.
It’s about restoring the relationship – between body and mind.
Last takeaway
Erica Leroye’s work challenges us to completely rethink pleasure.
Masturbation is:
It is a movement exercise.
A neurochemical regulator.
A tool for repairing attachments.
A safe base builder.
And for professionals pursuing Sex Coach and Sexologist certifications, it represents the future of embodied, trauma-informed sexual health work.
Fun is not separate from healing.
Fun is the way.
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