Since my children were young, I have spent at least half a day every week spending time alone and recharging. Now that one of them is a freshman in college and the other is a sophomore in high school, it still feels essential to my overall well-being. I think it comes from my much younger days, when I first fell in love with yoga and began to understand myself better.
Healing and remembering my wholeness became something I couldn’t get enough of. Sometimes I had the luxury of taking two yoga classes a day. Not because I had unlimited resources or time to do so, but because I couldn’t get enough of being still and taking care of myself. Probably a choiceless choice in so many ways. After all, I was a trauma survivor and a struggling actress in Hollywood when yoga came to me. Born and raised in Australia and living in Los Angeles as a teenager, there was no family nearby, yet I came to rely on friends as family. Just having enough money to pay the rent every month was more than enough for me to focus on. Those years helped me understand how resilient I was and perhaps all of us as we realize we have no choice but to keep going. And I don’t think I was that way because the struggle felt inherently noble, but probably more because surviving what tried to break me changed what I was made of. It was in those places where life wore me down, knocked me down and left me in the dark, where I slowly and sometimes painfully learned how to persevere, adapt and get back up.
But what that really means is that I felt tender and broken, and the only way I started to feel better was when I intentionally took care of myself. I’m so glad I just knew this, but maybe it’s more accurate to say that pain is such a good teacher. I write more about this in my memoir, A life Worth Living, A Journey of Self-Discovery Through Mindfulness, Yoga and Living in Awareness https://a.co/d/jaglP16. Pain demanded my attention as it forced me to break my patterns and invited me to transform in ways that comfort rarely does. It has stripped away my illusions, uncovered hidden truths, and forced a kind of radical honesty with myself, with life, and with what matters most.
I have been teaching yoga since the early 2000s and in a few weeks I will be turning 50. The next chapter in my life makes me feel like I am just starting over. Like I’m still that younger self inside me that’s curious about life while still on the windy road of self-discovery and transformation. I hope I will continue to live my life through a lens of fresh eyes.
Healing, whether emotional, psychological or spiritual, is rarely linear. And spending time with yourself – or what we might call a “solo date” – can have profound spiritual and psychological benefits. It’s more than just time for yourself; its intentional solitude designed for self-connection, reflection and joy. Here you will find an overview of the benefits for both spiritual And psychological dimensions:
Spiritual benefits
- Deepened self-connection
- When we are alone, without distractions, we can listen more clearly to our inner voice.
- We begin to tune into our intuition, our needs, and our soul’s desires – things that often get drowned out in a noisy, busy life.
- Presence and mindfulness
- Being alone by choice helps us slow down and be fully present in the moment.
- Activities such as walking in nature, journaling, or even enjoying a meal alone can become meditative and sacred.
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