Best Abby: My daughter has been married to her high school lover for 15 years. Their marriage has been rocky from the start because of the ‘God’ complex of her husband.
He is a spoiled snot monkey and a compulsive liar. He not only caused chaos in his own family, but has almost destroyed ours. He was extremely disrespectful for his deceased parents, and shortly after their death his bullying began to be directed to us.
Unfortunately I have been the primary target.
As a businesswoman of the career, I have always been able to be respectful. Because he cannot control me the way he does everyone, he relegates, ridiculous and belittles me, he swings to me annoying language and offensive behavior on every occasion.
I have tried everything that is humanly possible to deal with him. I have been a friendly, loving mother -in -law and grandmother for his children. My daughter cannot protect me nor my husband.
I am about to sacrifice my relationship with my daughter and grandchildren to get away from this monster. Counseling has given me aids to protect myself emotionally, but in the real -time situation they are not useful.
Are there thoughts, Abby?
-Broken heart in New England
Best broken heart: Your son -in -law is an older abuser and probably a misogynist. The example that he sets for your grandchildren is terrible, and they should not grow up with the thought that it is normal behavior.
Perhaps it is time for you to model the behavior that your daughter must follow and completely separate yourself from her husband. See her one on one or not at all. If you want a relationship with your grandchildren, leave it to her to make sure it happens.
In the meantime, if you have a will, talk to a lawyer about changing this to ensure that her husband cannot get control of your assets.
Dear Abby: My daughter -in -law is planned for an operation in a few weeks. She will have to take a leave in her educational assignment.
When she appointed her request to the director, he wanted to know what kind of operation she had. At first she told him it was personal and she would rather not say, but he continued to bother her until she told him. She was ashamed because it is a women related to women.
I told her what he did unprofessional and it may be illegal (hipaa) to ask such a question.
In her contract she can take a LOA for personal reasons. What do you think she should have handled this situation?
– leave of absence in the east
Dearly: I think your daughter -in -law has dealt with the grilling as well as possible. But understand that the director did not have the right to wring in her medical needs. What he did was ethical and morally wrong.
If he wanted a letter from her doctor who explained her need for free time for an operation, he could have asked. The details of the procedure were nothing of his business.
If she suffers emotional need because of his intimidation, she must consult a lawyer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Best Abby on www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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