Best Abby: I am a 71-year-old child who has been married for 54 years. I have a terrible habit to interrupt when my wife speaks.
I try to break this habit, which is difficult after so many years.
We had a bad argument today when she asked me to view some “funny” YouTube clips. I refused because I did the weekly job to set up our many medical recipes for the week.
She blew up and said it was ok to interrupt her, but not the opposite. She then continued to say how I interrupt her when she cooks, read, on her computer or do other activities.
I asked when a good time was to talk to her and maybe it was never told that it was never.
Was I out of the line or did this change in an overreaction?
– Spring in North Carolina
Best speech: It turned into an overreaction. Interesting is that your wife did not say that you interrupted her while she spoke; She mentioned the interrupting of certain activities. Has it occurred to you that you can spend two so much time together that you get on her nerves?
Perhaps it would come out separately, the two of you give more breathing space.
Dear Abby: I have suspected for many years that my son is gay. I don’t understand why he would feel that he can’t talk to me about his relationships. I would love him anyway.
Everything was fine when his father and I lived hundreds of kilometers away, but when I said we might be getting closer, my son became very upset and made it clear that he didn’t want it to happen.
At that time I did not understand why. We have come closer, and now there is an invisible curtain between us.
His father is disabled. I am his caregiver, who can sometimes be very stressful, but I do everything to take care of myself emotionally and physically so that I can do it well.
My husband’s father turned out to be gay and separated from his mother. My husband is still angry with his father, what I understand. I suspect that this might be a reason that our son is far away.
Several of his contemporaries (both male and female) have mentioned their suspicions for me. I love my son and want to be closer. I contacted PFLAG for help. Can you give me insight?
– Try in Virginia
Best try: As Your son is gay (and he may not BE), It is understandable that he would stay away from his possibly homophobic father.
I find it strange that your son’s friends would make you unsolicited comments about their “suspicions” about his sexual orientation.
You were wise to reach PFLAG for information. It is a respected source that I have often mentioned in my column.
But I can’t help to wonder why you got closer to your son, even though he indicates that he didn’t want it. It may be time to give him the space to live his life privately, and because you need emotional support, look it up somewhere else.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Best Abby on www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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