Dear Abby: I have known ‘Sheila’ for 30 years. We were once dear friends. She was always a social drinker. Twelve years ago she lost her husband to cancer and started drinking more and more. Sheila is now an alcoholic. Friends and family have often tried to help her. She went to rehabilitation twice to appease her daughter. She tried Aa but said she was not at ease there. She had a home program for months, but only went through the movements until it was ready.
In the past three years, Sheila has fainted, fallen and her face and accidentally burned her house. She was taken to the hospital a number of times per ambulance and has recently received her second DIRIGHT. My problem is that she calls me every week to Chitchhat on different everyday subjects like nothing has happened. If I try to talk about her problems, Sheila says that she regrets and will do better and then the subject changes. Our conversations make me sad and angry.
Do I finally have to confront her, or just cut her out of my life? I tried to be caring and supportive when most of her other friends have written off her, but I am ready to give up. – Finished in Maine
Best finished: Tell Sheila that although you give her, you are no longer willing to assist and see her try to kill yourself, because that is what she did. Tell her that you would like to keep talking to her, but only when she has confronted her serious alcohol problem and started on the way to recovery. (Tell her daughter the same.) Sometimes an addict has to hit the bottom before they realize what their habit has cost them.
Dear Abby: A month ago I had to fly through the country with my husband to attend my cousin’s wedding. It was a very special event because my cousin had never been married and a confirmed bachelor seemed to be. After we arrived at the airport and were about to check in, I realized that I had not brought my identification. I told my husband to go on board the flight without me.
When my husband arrived, he told his brother that I wasn’t there because I had forgotten my identification. My brother -in -law told my husband that he would tell his wife that I was sick and my husband agreed. I was furious with my husband when I found out.
I told my husband to tell my sister -in -law (who is my friend) that I had forgotten my identification. I am also angry with my brother -in -law for lying over me. Do I have to tell my sister -in -law the truth and let her know that her husband was lying over me? -‘S show in Virginia
Dear no-show: A better way to express it would be to tell your sister -in -law (who is your friend) that you could not get on the plane because you have forgotten your ID and still cannot find out why your husband and her hair have not given the real reason.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Best Abby on www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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