For a while, Boxing Day 2025 felt like a reenactment of Boxing Day 2010. We’re talking an amateurish historical reenactment, given the lower intensity and higher number of participants with private lives explored, yet the grand form of the thing was much the same. You let England choose to bowl on a cloudy morning and finish off the hosts in time for an early tea. The original example lasted 42.5 overs, this iteration lasted 45.2, with only 15 deliveries in between.
Still, this year’s edition felt different for more reasons than just a higher scoring percentage that yielded 152 all-out versus 98 all-out last time. In 2010, England owned the day, a Jimmy Anderson swing masterclass ripping out a paralyzed middle order, Chris Tremlett hacking off the top and tail like a légumier preparing string beans. The replay was a less complete bowling effort that evoked a strangely halting batting response: chop-ons and leg-side nicks and run-outs, with the bowling team occasionally reminded through Josh Tongue to toss the ball up before blasting through someone’s defense.
The biggest difference was the score: a fourth Test was played at 3-0 rather than 1-1, meaning a series was decided rather than one that brimmed with life like Frankenstein’s creation on record. England’s morning explosion (which is not one of their electrolyte drinks) meant that, as holders of the Ashes trophy 15 years ago, their bowling destruction left them one good batting innings away from retaining it, and this was a team that had declared on 517 in Brisbane and 620 in Adelaide. That’s why the crowd on Boxing Day in 2010 sat in shocked silence at the change of innings: the danger of a series loss stared 84,000 in attendance in the face.
For the current England team, a few extra catches or a few less crazy shots in Perth, Brisbane or Adelaide might have given them a 2-1 lead in Melbourne, ready to make Australian players and spectators alike nervous at the prospect of taking the series to the next level. But they had already lost those chances, so this time the record 94,000 people spent the tea break mostly elbowing their way to the bar in search of refreshment, rather than worrying about the state of the game. With the Ashes secured, an England win here would be a sidebar.
In reality, given England’s perilous batting in all series, there was a good chance that 152 for the home side portended something worse for their guests. So it turned out. The heartbreaker for Australia in 2010 was not the 98 all out on the first day, but the 157 without loss that followed with stumping. That day the clouds passed, the sun shone and the England openers came in. This time the clouds passed, the sun shone and the English openers followed suit. Then the middle order. Then the rest.
In one long session they lost the draw within 30 overs, making it into the top 10 for fewest England deliveries bowled in an Ashes match. Australia simply placed it on the spot and waited for the upcoming field to provide an assist. Mitchell Starc started the role, Michael Neser continued it, Scott Boland almost finished it, acting as a collective pulling back the edges, smothering the balls to the stumps and taking catches to finish each other’s work. Jhye Richardson’s comeback match consisted of four with overs in between watching the show.
There will be the usual chatter about whether a pitch that dares to offer movement should be castigated, or the modern player for a lousy approach, or coaches for corroded defensive techniques, and no one will come up with a decisive answer. The carnage of 20 fallen wickets with a 46-run gap between the teams means both remain in the match, with the outcome depending on who can find a way to a substantive score.
It still feels emblematic of the England tour, however, that even repeating one of their most famous Ashes performances over two furious sessions has left them still the worst off at the end of the day.
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