What guys?
Thanks for having breakfast with me. I wanted to talk to you about something…
Hmmm, I see neither of you ordered the Chicken Fried Steak – strange – I think that love affair came later – but trust me – after you get through your Eggs Benedict phase in college – you will eventually discover CVS – and when you do – your life will never be the same.
But that’s not the point.
I wanted to start by saying this: Becoming the older version of you has been one of the greatest adventures of my life. I am grateful for every day that I get to be who I am thanks to the life experiences you have given me. I love you both so much. And I am infinitely proud of the children you are today.
You see, beneath the chaos, the problems and the noise, you are kind, funny, creative, thoughtful and full of love. You have minds that work sideways, diagonally and sometimes at full speed in the wrong direction – and that randomness? That is the source of all your creativity. Never stop creating from that place. Ever.
As you step into the next few years – that strange, magical space between being a child and becoming a young man – there is something I must say. Something I wish someone had told me at your age:
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Not. Even. A little.
You have your parents. Your grandparents. Your brothers and sisters. Your friends. And – most importantly – you have yourself. All these people are here to help you learn, grow, screw it all up, try again and become the person you were meant to be. Which, by the way, turns out to be me.
And I have a few more things to tell you – there will be times when you’re convinced that all adults are just ‘old farts who don’t get it’. – and some don’t – but most do. Where are you? They’ve been there. They love you so much and want the very best for you – even if they don’t always know how to say it.
When you feel vulnerable, lost or confused, talking to your family is always the safest choice you can make. And if you don’t, I promise this is one of the things you’ll say later: ‘I wish I had.“
Now listen carefully to this passage.
That constant need for movement, creation, stimulation – the thing that’s going to drive teachers a little crazy? That’s no problem. That’s a gift. It’s a superpower that makes you…you. It’s where your creativity, intensity, humor and perspective come from. They are the sunglasses that allow you to see the world in a rare and special way.
You don’t always get the attention you think you deserve for the effort you put into it. Keep doing it anyway. Don’t pretend them. Do it for you yourself. And never stop.
Eventually you will discover that you have ADHD. How? Well…you’re going to diagnose yourself because one of your children has it, and you’ll suddenly recognize that you have every symptom. Speaking of children: you’re having two boys. Yes, they’re great – Yes, 17, you still say “rad” – Yes, 13, they both have skateboards. Yes, you can still kickflip. No, your pants still aren’t sagging.
Can we come back to the whole kid thing later?
For now, know this: the coming years will bring moments that feel lonely, confusing, overwhelming – sometimes all at once. That’s normal. You never have to go through it alone. Lean on the people who love you when you are lost.
At the same time, learn to trust yourself when the music of the world turns into static noise. Not all well-intentioned advice matches your inner compass. Learning to filter that is part of becoming the man you’re already growing up to be.
Remember: middle school and high school are just small chapters in a very long story you are writing. They will not decide your future. But how you approach these years will determine your character, your self-confidence and the man you ultimately become. No matter what happens, I will always be in your corner when you need me most.
And here’s the catch.
I still need you. More than you know.
You see, I have two kids now and I’m trying – failing, learning, trying again – to help them navigate a world that looks nothing like the one you grew up in. So if you’re willing to do so, I’d love it if you could come check on me every now and then. If you see me messing around with the parenting ball, hit me on the arm and remind me that we were idiots once too. Remind me to show up with patience, grace, and the fatherly presence you didn’t always get when you needed it most.
Anyway – I think we’ve covered the basics for now.
Why don’t the three of us figure out a way to work together on something great.
I’ve been wanting to write a movie about you two for a while now.
Just say: maybe today, maybe tomorrow. But if we do… I can’t do it without you.
See you then…later, skaters!
Steve Brian
Broker | OR
He/him
Steve has built his career on the concept that ‘service comes first’.He has helped clients buy and sell homes on both sides of the river and has a keen understanding of what it takes to negotiate in a way that leaves his clients feeling like their best interests are always paramount at the negotiating table. He has worked with starters, upsizers, downsizers and investors. He prides himself on providing informed advice based on the current market and leaving the final decisions up to his clients! After moving to Portland in 2002, Steve roamed several neighborhoods on Portland’s east side and developed a taste for straight espresso. He has now planted roots with his family in the Terra Linda neighborhood of NW Portland and loves a great beer on a warm summer day from one of Portland’s many local breweries. When he’s not wearing his ‘Steve the REALTOR®’ hat, he enjoys spending time in the water with his two boys or just putting on some mud boots and finding some trails to explore. “Service comes first!”
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