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‘Absolutely terrified’: how Judi’s terrifying travel moment reshaped her life
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‘Absolutely terrified’: how Judi’s terrifying travel moment reshaped her life

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Judi Tarn was halfway up a ‘treacherous’ mountain trail in the French Alps when grief struck with full force.
Her ankles turned on loose stones. Small creeks cross the path. In the still air, she suddenly felt the absence of her husband, Alan, more acutely than she had felt in months.
“I really felt Alan was there with me – I thought, ‘What the hell, Alan? What am I doing here? I can’t do this'” the 69-year-old told SBS News.

For a moment she thought about turning back. But instead she spoke to him.

“I just kept going up the mountain saying, ‘Get me through this,’” she said. “It was hard. But I felt like Alan was there with me, encouraging me and saying, ‘This is fantastic. You’re doing great.'”

It was the kind of moment she could never have predicted when Alan died this year – and she found herself navigating life and ultimately traveling without him.

‘I was absolutely terrified’

The couple was married for 45 years. Travel was central to their life together; they cycled through Europe, backpacked through Vietnam and traveled through France and Spain.
“We did a lot of riding together,” Tarn said. “It was our thing.”
After he died, she filled diary pages with thoughts she couldn’t say out loud. On one page she wrote: “I want to have a very nice holiday in a beautiful place.”

Shortly afterwards she heard about a singing and walking tour in the French Alps and knew that was it. She had traveled alone before, but this would be her first trip alone since Alan passed away.

Judi Tarn and Alan were married for 45 years, with travel at the heart of their life together. Source: Delivered / Judi Tarn

“This was the first trip where I didn’t know what I was getting into,” Tarn said. “I was absolutely terrified.”

That fear began to disappear when, after more than 24 hours of travel, she finally arrived in Lyon, France’s third largest city. She sat in a café, ordered a meal in French and was alone for the first time in decades.
“It was a validation of the fact that I could do this,” she said.
‘I live on my own. I have a lot to do. I might as well be lonely in France.
“My eyes were all filled with tears and I really wanted to cry because I was so proud of myself and I just said, ‘You go girl’. If I had a mirror I would have high-fived myself in it.

“Traveling is fantastic. You shouldn’t go just because you’re alone.”

Why more and more older women travel alone

This trend of older, grieving or newly single women traveling alone is not unique to Tarn.
Brett Mitchell, managing director Australia and New Zealand at Intrepid Travel, said the company has seen a 21 percent increase year-on-year in the number of travelers over the age of 50 choosing to travel alone.

“It reflects a growing trend of older women seeking meaningful travel experiences, and they are turning to small-group travel as a safe and supportive way to explore the world on their own terms with other like-minded travelers,” Mitchell told SBS News.

Two-thirds of the travelers on Intrepid’s women’s expeditions are solo. Morocco is the most popular destination for older solo women.
“It’s an incredibly rewarding place to visit, but it can also be challenging to navigate independently, from language barriers to busy medinas and complex transportation,” he said.
“Destinations like Morocco resonate with group travel because they offer a sense of adventure without sacrificing comfort or safety.”
Safety is the biggest concern Mitchell hears from older women.
“Senior solo female travelers often place more emphasis on feeling safe, reliable logistics and knowing that support is available if something doesn’t go to plan,” he said.
Carolyn Ray, CEO of JourneyWoman, a global information hub for solo female travelers, said women experiencing loss are a huge and overlooked demographic.

“This is one of the biggest trends in travel that is largely ignored,” she told SBS News.

The emotional whiplash of traveling after loss

Melbourne-based psychologist Carly Dober said travel can be highly therapeutic for grieving women, but emotionally complex.
“[Widowed travellers] can experience joy and excitement because they can still travel and see places at their own pace,” Dober told SBS News.

“But they may feel deep sadness that their partner is not there to enjoy it with them… and may experience a certain loneliness.”

“Grief can feel strange sometimes, and there are a lot of ups and downs on the roller coaster. You may feel quite lonely – lonelier than you thought,” Dober said.
A 2025 study from Monash University found that loneliness is the biggest challenge for people who are widows, describing it as “common and possibly unavoidable”. Another study published in The Journals of Gerontology found that widowed women experienced a twofold increase in loneliness in the first year.
Dober said that instead of pushing away grief, traveling can create small, healthy moments of connection with the person you’ve lost.

“You can keep your late husband alive in your thoughts,” she said. “If you see a beautiful cafe that your deceased loved one would have loved, go there. Speak out loud to them. Don’t bottle it up.”

A woman wearing workout gear on a cobblestone street.

There are more women like Judi Tarn, with data from Intrepid Travel showing a 21 percent increase year on year in travelers aged 50 and over choosing to travel alone. Source: Delivered / Judi Tarn

For Tarn, this has become instinctive.

“I almost feel like he’s riding behind me and saying, ‘Look at this, isn’t it amazing?’” she said.

‘I felt like an Amazon’

Although Tarn’s journey had moments that knocked her aside emotionally, she said those five weeks alone changed her sense of what is possible.
“I felt like an Amazon,” she said. “It made me think: I can do anything now. It gave me a different feeling when I came back.”
Mitchell said this transformation is common.
“Many women in this age group describe solo travel as a personal milestone,” he said. “Some want the space to rediscover their independence or pursue interests they have long put off.”
Research shows that solo travel can stimulate feelings of freedom, self-development and satisfaction. For widowed women, Dober says the effect can be even more powerful.

“There can be a sense of achievement and self-empowerment when older women realize they can do this on their own – and also experience pleasurable moments themselves,” she said.

It made me think: I can do anything now. When I came back, I felt different.

Judi Tarn, solo traveler

‘There is still life to live’

Tarn doesn’t know exactly what journey will follow, but she’s sure there will be one.
“Life goes on,” she said. “I just felt like I can do anything now. And I have to do it, because at 69 I could drop dead at any moment.”
She hopes other widowed women know that strength can return in unexpected ways.
“There is still life to be lived,” she said. “You have to honor that person by living your life in the best way possible.”
“I feel like I have to live my life twice because Alan couldn’t live his life.”
And what would Alan think of her newfound independence?
‘He would be so proud of me. He was my biggest champion.”

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