It’s year 16 of the RCLs! That’s right, if the RCLs are in the bathroom, don’t knock, just give them five minutes because they’re checking the price list for their Semien condition, so to speak. They grow up so fast, right? Soon the RCLs date, then fall for their high school sweetheart, then get married at 19, then drop out of school to support their young family. Then an affair will begin with their colleague, and the RCLs will secretly despise their family when they turn 30 for depriving the RCLs of their lifelong dream of going to referee school. Man, some serious RCL bitterness coming! Maybe you should just hit the lottery, RCL’s, then you can spend all your money on a McMansion and a tiger tied to a tree. Unfortunately, the tree isn’t sturdy enough and bends all the way over, allowing the tiger to break free and stalk the RCLs to their bathroom, where the RCLs whine, “I didn’t know how good I had it when I had no money and just had the fun of playing in a free fantasy baseball league against 11 of my closest enemies.” So don’t make the same mistake as the RCLs and live your best life by participating in some free fantasy baseball leagues!
Did I say free fantasy baseball leagues?
No, technically I just typed it.
Okay, if you could join one fantasy baseball league that was against thousands of others, would you or are you…chicken? Don’t let me blame you.
This isn’t a 1,000-person league where people try to figure out who the backup third baseman is for the Single-A Astros affiliate, the Corpus Christi Amscrayers. No, this is a 12-person league, so you can compete against eleven other people in your league, and then against 75 other leagues of twelve. That would be cool. Oh wait, we did that. It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commentator to join in!
Give your loved one a fantasy baseball league for a limited time only! That’s right, your heart is racing or you are dead inside (my condolences). Ever since you abandoned your fantasy baseball team last June because it was totally worthless and returned to your cubicle with leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve been longing for this day. As Bob Marley sang: This is your redemption song, mon. Or woman, for our five girl readers. It’s time again to take part in some fantasy baseball leagues!
Before you close all your unnecessary porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s first explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work. We are going to have a number of competitions and crown a winner from each competition, and then we are going to crown ONE winner from all the winners. We will crown the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying them by a ‘competition factor’. If you want to see how it worked last year, go here.
So we’re going to fill as many fantasy leagues as possible over the next seven weeks. Any fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 teams, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 positional eligibility for games, maximum 1400 innings, minimum 1000 IP with 3 DL slots with a limit of 500 moves per year, which I think maybe two people achieved last year. So that limit of movement is not inhibiting even those who roast until they are blind.
The competitions will again take place on Fantrax.
We’re going to start with 40 competitions and see how we do from there. There are a few pay leagues, neither Razzball nor Fantrax holds any money. If people want more wage competitions, please fill it out and we’ll open more. If we need more free competitions, we will do the same. To join a league…Sorry, again for those in the back of the room:
TO PARTICIPATE IN A LEAGUE
Click on the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see schedule below) for your desired time and YOU’RE IN. Damn, that’s too easy. Oh, I guess I should also mention: make sure you enter a competition for free or for money, depending on your preference. If you want a competition for money, 1) click on the link. 2) Pay the money. That’s it! No annoying third requirement! Again, Fantrax and Razzball do not take money. You can join as many free or paid leagues as you want. To leave a league, go to OTHER -> All Options -> Quit League (bottom). Join some competitions now!
THE BIG PRIZE
All competitions (paid and free) play for the big prize. So, what do you gain? You win bragging rights! Not just the right to brag, but the right to brag about beating a thousand other people, and you can emphasize that “or so” as emphatically as you like. What? Not enough? Okay, for this year’s price, we’re taking the bull out of the bulloney. We raise the bar. “Hey, Olympic high jumper, can you jump over this ante?” No, that’s not possible, it’s raised too high. LOOK, it’s a bird…it’s a plane…it’s our ante! “Excuse me, astronomer, is that an orbiting satellite?” No, son, it’s Razzball’s ante. They increased it. This year we’re giving away a Best Buy Gift card worth €250, with which you can buy almost anything (up to €250). I recently bought a TV that sits under my toilet seat so I can watch TV while whizzing. Granted, I bought this in a dream I had and I was married to Sofia Vergara in that dream, but this has to exist, right? For the s’s and g’s I’ll also throw in a Razzball t-shirt because I have 14,000 of them and I’ve already outfitted all the homeless people in my neighborhood with SAGNOF t-shirts. But most importantly, you’ll be crowned the 2026 Razzball Commenter League Champion. Okay, sign up now…
#Razzball #Commentator #Competitions