‘Tell your child that you love them’: Family support for LGBTQ+ Youth

Because Joey Dijkstra, who came out like a gender-diverse person in Albany, West-Australia, was a daunting prospect.

“I grew up in a conservative, Christian community where gender diversity was demonized,” they say.

“To say that the exploration made who I was and came out scary, an understatement is.

“People still have a lot of misconceptions about my gender identity and why I am who I am.”

Joey’s family initially did not understand their gender diversity, but they never hesitated in their love and support.

“I think the biggest thing was that they keep loving me and supporting my mental health,” they say.

“Keep making contact with me if a person showed his unconditional love for me.

“I think my family had to put a lot of confidence in me that I knew who I was best and gave myself autonomy to make decisions that were best for me.”

Receiving support from the family is of vital importance for improved mental health for LGBTQ+ young people, according to findings from a recent study by Headspace from the National Youth Mental Health Organization.

The national study of more than 2,000 family members of Queer young people aged 12-25 showed that almost half of the respondents thought that the mental health of the foreign young people in their families was ‘poor’ or ‘honest’ compared to less than one third of the non-LGBTQ+ young people.

The results reflect countless other findings that consistently show LGBTQ+ Young people have a higher percentage of psychological need And almost double the number of suicidal thoughts than non-reviewing youths.

The survey also showed that, although families were more concerned about the mental health of their strange young people, they also encourage them more often to seek professional support.

Joey says that openly and honestly spoke to each other, the key was to maintain a great relationship with their family.

“Their support was crucial for my journey in mental health care,” says Joey.

“I know many parents and families, in particular with regard to Christianity and Religion, worrying that supporting and confirming their child is not the right decision. And I want to encourage those families by saying that it is. That is absolutely.

“I am mentally healthy and do it really well now, which would not be possible without the support of my family.”

Why family support is so important

Receiving support from family or friends, who are often the first people where a young LGBTQ+ person will come up, lays a foundation for the search for further help if necessary, says Headspace Chief Clinical Officer Vikki Ryall.

“Young people who identify as LGBTIQA+ are considerably more likely to experience a high or very high levels of psychological need, or to experience loneliness or insulation as a result of experiences of discrimination, exclusion, homophobia and prejudices,” says Ryall.

“That is why resting of friends and family is necessary: ​​if their first experience is positive, they continue to seek help to support their mental health and well -being.”

In addition to the powerful of young strange people to feel self -confident when looking for specialized help, family support also has a direct impact on their mental health.

“When LGBTIQA+ young people feel fully supported in their gender identity and sexuality, they experience better mental health, a higher self -respect and a more positive view of the future.”

The life -saving impact of family support

Michelle remembers the moment that her child opened for the first time before her about their gender identity, about 12 years old.

“I think they were worried how I could react because they let me know by giving me a letter they had written, but cut into many small pieces,” she says.

“I remember that I was in a hurry to put the pieces together so that I could talk about it!”

After compiling the letter again, Michelle told her child how grateful she was that they had entrusted her and that she wanted to know more.

“She [wrote]”Sometimes I feel like a girl and sometimes I feel like a boy and I am not sure which one I am.” I wanted to know what this meant for them and especially whether they felt happy and ok with this feeling, “says Michelle.

“I also wanted to know what they needed from me and the world and how I could help them with that.”

Once the news was established, Michelle started the process of supporting her child through gender -confirming care.

“My child had done their research very well and knew what he could expect and, the most important thing, by the time they were who they were,” she says.

“I was so grateful that once we started in gender -confirming care, the staff was so expert and friendly and really made the effort to make contact with my child, to validate them every step of the road and confirm them.”

Although Michelle and her child knew the outcome they wanted, the process was far from simple.

“It took a long time, and many agreements to finally be able to celebrate the first dose of testosterone ever! There were some difficult days, before that time, when my child had the feeling that she was losing hope. This was difficult because I couldn’t hurry the process, just there was as much as possible to support them as much as possible,” she says.

The impact on the mental health of her child on receiving gender -confirming care was immediately clear to Michelle.

“Before I received care, my child had told me that if they had to live with their appearance for the rest of their lives and their voice did not match who they were, they asked themselves if it was worth a life to live,” she says.

“Receiving gender -confirming care was literally life -saving.”

How you can support young LGBTQ+ people in your life

Michelle has advice for other parents whose children can question their gender or sexual identity.

“Encourage your child to talk to you and listen to them without judgment,” she says.

“If there is something that you don’t understand and want to know more, ask them, but don’t assume that you will always know the right things to tell them or that you will formulate your questions in the right way every time.”

She orders parents access to professional, peer-reviewed sources and speaks with other parents who have supported and advocates for their LGBTQIA+ children.

Vikki agrees that it is important for family members to proactively learn more about what their young person is going through.

“Teach yourself: this not only decreases the pressure from your young person, but also show them that you care about them,” she says.

“When a young person shares his gender or sexuality with you, she invites you to one of the most personal parts of their lives. Meeting that with support, love and respect can significantly reduce their risk of poor mental health, self -harm and other challenges and help them feel hopeful about their future.”

Joey says that although confirming their gender identity has been a challenge, it has also been worthwhile.

“[It] Opened a whole new world of possibility for me … It was daunting and exciting that I was no longer limited to the gender roles that were laid on me, “they say.

Michelle knows firsthand that supporting young LGBTQ+ people is not always easy.

“Be prepared that not everyone will share your opinion, and your child is very likely to see and hear things that happen all over the world that they find very disturbing,” she says.

“Be ready to listen to their worries and surround them where possible with a community of peers and allies.

“The most important thing, tell your child that you love and respect them and you are proud of them because you are faithful to yourself.”