Sammy-Jo Brandon was so desperate to be a mother that she delayed the life-saving cancer treatment, who could have left her infertile to undergo the first phase of IVF. It is a decision that Sammy-Jo may have cost her life.
Her Heartbroken Mother Kim, 64, A Retired Office Worker From Hornchurch, Essex, Here Reveeals The Despair She and Husband Matthew, 63, A Retired Toolmaker, Felt at Their daughter’s Choice and the Stey They They Have Since Since Since sammyjobrandonfoundation.org.uk.
“If I can’t have children, I don’t want to live.” That was my daughter’s reaction when doctors encouraged her to start chemotherapy, which had made the diagnosis of breast cancer at the age of only 26.
She was adamant to take steps first to keep her fertility, even if that meant that the start date of chemotherapy was postponed with months.
No matter how frightening it was for us as her parents, it was no surprise.
Every bone in the body of my Sammy-Jo was a maternal. She had longed to be a mother since she was a teenager – and when friends or family had a baby, she would hug them tenderly.
It was clear that she was a natural and I told her countless times: “One day you will make a great mother, Sammy-Jo.”
She had even started buying baby grows, tops and boots over the years awaiting, which she kept in her bedrooms in boxes and bags.
But in September 2016, while Sammy-Jo the wedding of a friend in Cyprus attended, she found a lump in her chest.
I had a lump removed when I was 25, which turned out to be benign, so I tried to reassure her that it would be the same for her. I never thought it would be something serious.
The daughter of Kim and Matthew Brandon, Sammy-Jo, delayed her cancer treatment because she desperately wanted the chance to become a mother
Sammy-Jo was diagnosed with breast cancer after spotting a lump while attending a friend’s wedding in Cyprus
Kim with Sammy-Jo during her fight against cancer. Sammy-Jo was petrified chemotherapy would leave her infertile
When she came back after a few days, Sammy-Jo went to the doctor and was referred to the hospital for an ultrasound, which she had a few weeks later.
Her partner Jack took her a week later for the results. Shortly thereafter, Sammy-Jo called me at work in tears, with the devastating news that it was cancer. Moreover, the tumor has already measured 8 mm and was a triple negative cancer, a particularly aggressive form of the disease.
I was in full and completely shock. And while the doctor had tried to reassure Sammy-Jo and tell her that they had caught it early, she went to panic mode.
Because it was such an aggressive cancer, she was told that they had to act quickly to prevent it from spreading.
Sammy-Jo was booked to undergo surgery to remove the clog two weeks later in December 2016, and we were told that she had to start a chemotherapy treatment immediately afterwards.
But Sammy-Jo also wanted to become mother and was petrified that chemotherapy would leave her infertile.
She wanted to freeze embryos before she underwent treatment.
Her father Matthew did not want her to delay the treatment for a minute’s only one that mattered was that Sammy-Jo got better. But she was adamant.
Kim says she could understand the resistance of her daughter against starting chemo
Sammy-Jo had always wanted to become a mother and often bought baby clothes in preparation
She was a meter for many of her friends’ babies and she would hug tenderly
I knew what it meant to be a mother. If someone had told me that I could never have children, I would have been devastated. So although I wanted her to start chemotherapy, I could understand her resistance.
Sammy-Jo went on with her plans and started a week after the operation IVF treatment with Jack, with whom she had been four years old.
It all took time. First she had to have drugs to stimulate her ovaries to produce eggs. They then had to be removed and fertilized in a test tube.
It took a total of six weeks, but after the first time they managed to get only two embryos.
“It’s not enough for two children mother,” she held up. She had read that on average two and a half embryos are needed to have one child, because it doesn’t always work the first time. She wanted at least two children, so she wanted to do a second egg collection.
And again this took another six weeks.
We – and her doctors – were desperately looking for her to start her chemotherapy.
We were blunt and told her, “We don’t want you to die.” But Sammy-Jo was determined. “One more, Mom,” she promised.
So she did the daily injections and her eggs were collected and fertilized and placed in storage. She was happy that she had received enough and her future hope to be frozen.
Eventually she started chemotherapy in January 2017 – more than three months after the doctors said she had to start.
It was difficult. She was exhausted and lost her hair. But she still had a smile for us.
It ended in April 2017 and the doctors were optimistic.
There was no sign of the cancer, and we thought we could finally place it behind us and start life again.
The oncologist had said to wait at least a year after the treatment before considering implanting one of the frozen embryos.
But now she was more cooled about pregnancy because the embryos gave her ‘insurance’.
Her periods started again later that year. But there were worrying signs that something was wrong.
Months after her treatment ended, Sammy-Jo was still exhausted and he suffered from ‘chemo brain’, where the effects of chemotherapy faint your brain.
She also had a headache. As a precaution, she received a brain scan at the end of 2017, but doctors said everything looked good and we had a beautiful family mass.
But in February 2018, Sammy-Jo helped a friend in a florist to put together Valentine’s Day flower orders when they called us.
“It is better to get quickly, Sammy-Jo has fainted,” she said. Her boyfriend had called an ambulance and we immediately went to the hospital.
Doctors said she had had an attack. Because she had had a brain scan a few months earlier, they didn’t think it was necessary to give her another. Instead, they gave her anti-displacement medication and sent her home.
Three days later we were downstairs in the kitchen when we heard her scream (she stayed with us then).
We found her lying on her bed, pulling her body. She had had another attack. I ran to call 999 while Matthew held her.
The operator told us that we had to hold her head and try to stop her on her tongue while we waited for the ambulance – which came within 12 minutes and brought her to the hospital.
This time they took her for a scan – and it showed devastating news. The cancer had returned to her brain and lungs.
Doctors discussed possible treatment options of radiotherapy and brain surgery.
But two weeks later, another scan showed that she had different fast -growing tumors and the most important was not accessible to surgery. Sammy-Jo was told that she only had to live for eight weeks.
“I’m sorry, there is nothing we can do,” said the doctor.
I, Jack, Matthew and her brother Daniel all sat at her hospital bed and sobbed together.
After everything she had experienced, our beautiful daughter would be taken from ours – and we couldn’t bear it.
Although she was terminal, Sammy-Jo was operated on a few days later to remove one tumor at the back of her head, which would have influenced her ability to walk.
Sammy-Jo wanted to spend her last weeks at home and she did. She remained incredibly strong – her thoughts were for her friends and family … and of course their children.
She was a meter for many of her friends’ babies and in the weeks she had left, she ruined gifts for them – of the baby clothes she had bought for her own future children, and her clothes and perfumes to give them something to remember her.
She also wrote birthday cards for them for the following year.
Sammy-Jo planned her own funeral, which she wanted to become a party of life. She accepted that she was at borrowed time, and planning all this gave her a goal.
She died eight weeks later, exactly as the doctors predicted.
She never became a mother, but she promised us to help children in need.
“I can’t have children, but I want you to protect others for me,” she said.
And we have been faithful to her word. Just after she died, we set up the Sammy-Jo Foundation, which collects money to help children with cancer.
This year we hope to reach the £ 500,000 for our fundraising. She would have been fond of it and was so proud.
Jack, with whom we still have a great relationship, helps us run the charity and we classify him as a different son.
Tragically enough, their embryos had to be destroyed two years after Sammy-Jo died-because they are the rules. Jack was distraught, and so do we. It felt like the end of an era, and the last piece of Sammy-Jo had disappeared.
If Sammy-Jo immediately started chemotherapy, she might still have been with us. The doctors told us that the first 12 weeks after the operation was the most important time to start chemotherapy, because the cancer cells are most receptive to treatment.
But I know she would not have changed her decision. Being a mother was the most important thing for her.
I would do everything to have my daughter back, but now Matthew and I focus on saving other lives, in memory of her. And we will do that as long as we live.
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